Bye to BT

I did something I have been meaning to do for ages today. I cancelled my BT line. Living in the middle of a swamp as I do it’s never worked well and, being 10km from the nearest exchange means broadband is a non-starter (hence the reason my roof has a fucking great satellite dish on the roof with a lurid “Active radio installation” hazard warning sign on it* despite peak output is one measly Watt)

The process was relatively painless but the BT numpty on the end of the line seems to be paid on a keeping people commission basis as I got the real hard sell to stay.

"You are a valued customer, what can we do to make you stay?"
"Nothing, the line quality sucks and I never use it, I have three mobiles**"
"I see you have the Super-Friends-And-The-Takeaway-On-Speeddial-Weekend package, I can give you that for free"
"Can you give me free line rental?"
"Er, no"
"So I still end up giving you eighty quid a year"
"Yes"
"Not much good then is it."
"How about I come round and give your horse a blow-job, will you stay then?"
"My horse is a mare"
"Damn"

Made me think though it is definitely worthwhile when any sort of subscription is coming to an end ringing up and telling them that you don’t want to renew. Apparently Sky are great for this and you can often get upgrades to your packages giving you yet more shit to surf through before you inevitably settle for some disaster porn on Discovery. I always do it with mobile phones and get some ace tarrif deals.

Wonder if it’ll work with the Northern Rock?





* Well it did until I took it off in case some nimby council droid came round.
** Which, according to ZaNu Labour, makes me a terrorist.