Canada spots naked emperor

I read today that Canada has gone "Hey, that guy's not wearing any clothes!" and withdrawn from the Kyoto Treaty

Good for them. Now Dishface, how about we do the same? Kyoto was always a complete crock of shit in my opinion. I mean what use is a treaty that the biggest CO₂ emitters (China and the USA) don't agree to and that actively hampers actually finding a solution. All Kyoto was was a bunch of eco nutters and white liberals wringing their hands about mummy planet and feeling guilty that we had shit and poor people in Shitholestan didn't and the General Mwombawomba's of places like Shitholestan holding out their hands asking for more money to develop low carbon economies buy more gold bathrooms and Lear Jets.

Now regulars will know I'm not a "climate change denier" but I can see that fucking up your economy and lifestyle by impossible to obtain carbon reduction targets isn't going to work. Our climate has always changed, that's what it does with or without our input and it's no use at all trying to keep it the same like some museum exhibit. We need to do what we've always done in the face of changing climate and that is adapt and mitigate. We are at a stage in human evolution where we don't just have to migrate in the face of changing crop growth and sea levels, we can do things about it. By all means cut waste and pollution as much as you can but we need to harness the power of industry, science and technology to give us solutions. Better flood defenses, crops that can tolerate drier (or wetter) conditions better, more advanced power generation systems, tank-grown meat made from stem cells, tiny pet unicorns that can live for a week on a lettuce leaf*.

Sure the planet gets a little warmer (or is it cooler, I keep getting mixed messages) and maybe the cutesy polar bears might have to be fitted with water wings and some species may even die off but they will be replaced by other species. That's what happens in a biosphere, they are not static, they adapt and change. 

Taking billions out of a first world economy and shoving it to some third world bottomless money pit will not and could not save a single bloody life, human or animal.

And as I see that the Durban conference (bet all the delegates flew there rather than paddled down in canoes made from recycled tofu) seems to be realizing this and has kicked the can down the road a few years much to the howling and gnashing of teeth of the usual suspects.   Maybe the message is getting through that we need an new approach.

Not holding my breath, mind you.


* top of my list, that one.

10 Billion Elephants in the Room

I had a play on the beeb's "work out your human sequence number" gizmo the other day and apparently I am the 77,191,204,131st person to have existed. All a bit silly really but the truly scary number comes when I saw that since I hatched in Blackpool back in the mid 60's the population of the world has doubled.


Now I am no Malthusian. Thomas Malthus, as you may recall, predicted that population growth would outstrip food supply which to be fair to him and the mathematics of the day did appear to be the case. However population didn't grow in quite the way Malthus' models had predicted and, being clever monkeys, we cam up with new and improved ways of food production. We continue to do that today and there's no reason to think that we can't support the predicted 10 billion peak population; sure the meat you're eating will probably be being grown from stem cells in a tank and your wheat and veg will have been highly genetically modified but at least we'll be spared from Charlton Heston yelling "Soylent Green is made of people" to anyone who'll listen.

No that's not the issue, the issue is one which the warble gloaming alarmists seem to have been rather quiet about, the 10 billion elephants in the room. Even if we cut out carbon emissions all those new people will still be consuming resources that'll need producing and transporting , they'l all be breathing out carbon dioxide and, at the risk of being crude, breaking wind and releasing tons of methane into the atmosphere. Sure we may be able to feed everyone but at what cost?


And I was just, you know, curious as to when the Global Warming lobby was going to start to calling for mandatory sterilization, people culls, and yes maybe the opening of a few centres where Edward G Robinson can commit suicide whilst watching deer frolic to Beethoven's Pastoral symphony.


Just asking.

So you actually don't want to solve the problem.

So climate change, what we used to call global warming, or was it cooling (I recall in the 70's we were all going to freeze to death "Day After Tomorrow" style), lets call it climate wobblyness just for fun.

Look I'm not a "denyer", you shove a load of CO₂ into the atmosphere and it will have an effect - and you can trust me on that because I have a BSc Hons in Earth Sciences^* - as to exactly what that effect is we're rather unsure but one thing is for certain the science is not "settled", as the whole sodding point of science is that it's never settled, and I certainly don't buy into the catastrophic alarmist crap which would mean that I'd have to be equipping the ponies with flotation devices in a couple of years. We also know that most of the alarmist pundits don't believe it either as otherwise Al Gore wouldn't have bought himself a beachfront property would he.

But anyway, lets for now accept there's a problem, so wouldn't you like to come up with a fix for this? Well it turns out someone has done here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15132989 basically by making little volcanic clouds. Not sure how you'd scale this up to planet size but one step at a time.

Only we're not making that step. Why?

"We are certainly not ready to carry out experiments, and this project should not just be delayed, but should be cancelled immediately," [Eco weenie who wears batik dresses and has probably named her kid Galadriel Moonbeam, Helena Paul] told BBC News.

"This is particularly important because while the scientists involved keep saying that reducing emissions is the primary necessity, they risk distracting attention from that necessity at a crucial moment."

Because there's only one solution isn't there. That's the one that involves us giving up on the material benefits of progress, turning our societies into some agrarian collectivist monstrosity the very idea of which gets Helena moist and chasing after a small green dragon because he drives a 4x4 and lit up his patio heater this weekend.

You don't want a solution because actually solving global warming doesn't fit your agenda.



^* OK so I specialised in what mud does and how water flows through rocks but I'm a damned sight more qualified that 99% of the people spouting off of the subject.as I have at least done some climate modelling.

We got the crusties

You may have seen on the news that some of the trustafarian "climate change" protesters currently infesting Blackheath decided to target Banko di Haggis today:

"Protesters glued to floor of bank"

Well as your scaly green chum was there, they decided to occupy the next row of desks to where I sit, let me let you in on a few details as to how this actually went down.

Firstly, here they are should you pass them in the street and want to give them the business end of a breath weapon turned up to "toasty" so they can experience some Local Climate Change.



Nice looking bunch of layabouts filling in those long summer months before heading back to uni to that all important Media Studies degree.

Protesters have glued their hands to the floor of the Royal Bank of Scotland headquarters in the City of London.

As you can quite clearly see their hands are not glued to the floor at all, what they did was actually glue themselves to each other with one of them putting his arm around a pole supporting a TV similar to the one on the right of my picture.

Twelve Climate Camp protesters dressed as construction workers stuck themselves to the floor while a further 100 protested outside.

As you can see they are NOT dressed as construction workers, and there were in fact six of them.

To be honest they were pretty well behaved for protestors and just sat there occasionally chanting their "whose planet - our planet" chants plus another one that seemed to go to the tune of those old Jack Dee beer commercials (the "Widget, it's got a widget, a lovely widget, a widget it has got" one) and every so often one of them would start banging on to the gathered wage slaves of B de H about how bad we were and we should be nice to mummy earth and "as traders you can make a difference"

It was at this point that some kindly employee pointed out to them that, although this looked like a trading floor all the traders had moved and we were, in fact, a bunch of IT guys and beancounters.

The plod were, as you would expect with every employee of the bank wielding a pretty high end mobile phone camera, (and no it was not me that sent these images to the Daily Fail) being on their best behaviour despite one of the gobby little shits who looked not unlike Japan's bass player Mick Khan giving it a load of verbals about how the police were breaking the law by not giving their names (son, they don't need to, only their numbers) and eventually the riot act was read to them, they refused to shift until RBS stopped hurting mummy nature and some chaps with solvents turned up, put safetey goggles on the crusties and de-glued them. Of course our little protesters wanted to milk this for all they could get so despite the gig being up they insisted on being dragged out...



About two hours later one of my colleagues reported that our unwashed friends were outside the front of the building once more, no doubt having been taken down to Bishopsgate nick and then let straight out with a police caution.

To be honest I have no problem with them protesting, I disagree with what they say but they have a perfect right, indeed a duty, to say it. But you interfered with my sausage sandwich and coffee this morning so if it were down to me I'd have invoked the disaster recovery plan, cleared the floor and left you there for a couple of days - let's see how your commitment to the cause is when you're sat in your shit and are hallucinating because of dehydration.

Fucknuggets the lot of you.

(Video of one of the silly twats getting dragged out as soon as I can get YouTube to bleeding well work)

Burning down the house

Apparently a whole load of dole claiming smelly crusties are going to be decending on London today to set up a "climate camp" for, well, just for shits and giggles I guess but they will be banging on about global warming/cooling (take your pick) and no doubt teaching each other circus skills (which is always juggling and not dressing up like a clown and driving around in a car with the doors falling off) and knitting their own tofu. Apparently this is supposed to draw attention to the weather or something.

I trust that names and IDs will be being checked and anyone claiming benefits will have them immediately stopped for that week as they are clearly not available for work? No, thought not. Keep paying your taxes so these cunts can carry on inconveniencing you, you climate criminal dragon.

Meanwhile up in swamp-world we've had a bit of a fire and a nice company which does very environmentally sound work in recycling car tyres has gone up in flames and, apparently, the advice from the Environment agency is not to put the fire out and just let it burn itself out. I drove past it this morning on the way to the station and there is a mound of tyres that must be 8 or 9 metres high, 20 metres wide and dog knows how deep merrily blazing away. I can see the smoke from the lair and that's 8 miles away and every now and again the wind changes direction and you get the whiff of burning rubber, sort of like an oily coal smell like you get around steam engines which isn't entirely unpleasant but I can't imagine it's very healthy. That and the fact that this thing is probably generating the same amount of CO₂ every minute that I would have to drive my big fuck off 4x4 around the world from now until doomsday to make.

Bet you won't see any climate campers outside there any time soon.

About the only thing they got right is their name

I am referring of course to "Plane Stupid", the Eco pressure group who decided to bolt themselved to Stanstead airport this morning. I did catch one of them whittering on about "our parents generation have failed us so we have to take direct action". Well you lived up to your name by firstly making fatuous wank statements like than and also in one fell stroke alienating tens of thousands of people who might have been sympathetic to your cause and now might just take a look deeper at the guff, quite frankly dodgy science and vested interests in Global Warming climate change. {hint: follow the money}

If it were me I'd have hopped into the left hand seat of a handy 737, taxied round to where they were, pointed the tail at them, popped the park brake on and then opened up those Pratt and Whitneys to about 60% of N1

How's that for Local Warming you cunt-trumpet hippy freaks.

Burning down the house

I was in Focus DIY in King's Lynn today (buying ready mix concrete and gutter sealant if you must know).

You know all that fuss about "evil patio heaters" and "retailers should stop selling these to save the planet?" I posted about last week?

They had them on special offer... 50% off. The poor sod in the back room could hardly keep up such was the demand. So much for that then you scaremongering, killjoy wankers.

I nearly wet myself laughing.

Told you I would

See... look what happens when you make dragons angry. Planets get destroyed.

Me and Mrs Dracunculus call it the "Death Star" and we hum the Imperial March every time we light it.

Civilization = how far away are you from your shit

Ohhh now I'm mad. The stench that these wankers bring to the human collective is almost too much to bear...

Campaigners say patio heaters emit too much CO2 People are being told to wear jumpers instead of relying on patio heaters, in an attempt to cut carbon emissions.
The Energy Saving Trust has urged retailers to stop selling the heaters after a report suggesting their use will almost double over the next year.

And I have the urge to contribute to global warming by burning down your offices and everyone in them you bunch of mendacious, fascist killjoys. But especially this man.

Chief executive Philip Sellwood said: "Why don't people just wear a jumper?"

Why don't you just crawl into a hole and die you twat. Look you slimy excuse for a life form, let me explain this to you. Human civilization has been one long process of increasing the common weal, making life easier, more comfortable and generally better. We have a word for this, it's called "progress". We don't hunt for food any more because we have supermarkets; as I explained to Nanook of the North when he was grumbling about his igloo turning into a puddle supermarkets are an improvement on crawling through the woods with a spear on the trail of Bambi. Someone once said the mark of how advanced a civilization was was the distance it had put between people and their shit. Thus it is that we now have patio heaters which make life just that little bit better that sticking on a cable knit woolly pully (or at least less of a style crime). If cunts like you had had their way we'd all still be huddled up in mastodon furs trying to make stone tools in the dark.

Half of owners switched theirs on during the hottest months of the year, July and August.

Of course they do; it's a way of extending a nice summer evening outside into twilight when it starts to get chilly. People aren't probably using these much in December when it's pissing down and freezing cold as they don't spend time in the garden then.

Mr Sellwood said: "We are calling for responsible retailers to reconsider the sale of patio heaters in light of the substantial amount of carbon emissions they produce."

And I'm sure the responsible retailers will all have been saying "Fuck you". Look they are there to make a profit for their shareholders (like me) and if they are not latching onto and servicing a growing market and thus generating revenue then there are going to be some awkward questions being asked at the AGM, and they're probably going to be being asked by a small green dragon.

It is thought that the recently imposed smoking ban in enclosed public places in England will lead to more outdoor smoking and an increase in commercial patio heaters.

Mr Sellwood said: "People are also influencing the larger, more damaging commercial sector, with a third of pub-goers choosing pubs where there is a patio heater.

"Landlords are helping to make patio heaters desirable - which they are not."

Some 31% of people who responded to the survey said they liked to sit outside pubs and would choose one with outdoor heating.

Yay... the law of unintended consequences strikes again. You make smoking inside illegal, people go to smoke outside, mine host installs a patio heater to cater for this important part of his clientèle and said clientèle say "hey, these are good, I want one".

Last month, London Mayor Ken Livingstone called for a halt in the spread of "wasteful" patio heaters and urged retailers not to promote them.

Tell you what you newt-loving freak, you stand right there next to Phil, I'll take a deep breath and you can both experience some local warming up to around 2500 Kelvin.

I don't have a patio heater but this weekend I'm off to FocusBandQBase and I'm going to buy the biggest fuck off patio heater I can just to watch your impotent little faces contort in disgust and humiliation when I fire it up because all you can do is bleat at me as to what a bad dragon I am and there is nothing, nothing your blackened little joyless souls can do to stop me.

God's aim sucks

Either that, or as Depeche Mode once observed, he has a sick sense of humour.

According to Bishop of Carlisle, the current flooding some parts of the UK are experiencing is all down to the amazing power of botty sex. Yes, God is pissed at us for passing a law last year which basically says "Treat people equally under the law regardless of what sex they make the two-backed beast with" and The Almighty lets loose a flood of not quite biblical proportions...

In Doncaster for fucks sake!

Last time I was in Doncaster it was full of decidedly heterosexual Yorkshiremen and certainly not a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, well no more than any other northern industrial town. So I can safely conclude that either Jehovah meant to hit the Canal Street area of Manchester and his aim went low and right, in which case he sounds an ideal candidate to replace Flintoff in the England bowling line-up, or maybe, just maybe, this is a natural phenomenon caused by a lot of unseasonal rainfall exacerbated by silly buggers building houses on flood plains.

The bish has got some choice quotes:

The bishop, who is a leading evangelical, said that people should heed the stories of the Bible, which described the downfall of the Roman empire as a result of its immorality.

Conveniently ignoring the fact that Rome at the height of its powers worshipped Pagan gods, drank and ate itself stupid, staged fights to the death for entertainment and a statue like this one was regarded as being in exquisite taste and at the time the empire finally crumbled and the Visigoths strolled off with the loot it was Christian.

"In the Bible, institutional power is referred to as 'the beast', which sets itself up to control people and their morals.

Er... pretty much like the church did for about 1800 years then.

Our government has been playing the role of God in saying that people are free to act as they want," he said, adding that the introduction of recent pro-gay laws highlighted its determination to undermine marriage.

Disregarding the fact that our present government seems to be keen to pass as many laws as possible to specifically stop people being free at all we're back at the amazing power of bottysex again! Let the gays get wed and suddenly those promises that you and the Mrs made all those years back are suddenly null and void so you might as well just get a divorce and get the years of bitter argument over child custody under way right now.

"The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God's judgment.

So how come God can't just judge those he doesn't like and leave the good citizens of Doncaster who, lets face it, didn't have a whole heap of input into the formulation of the Civil Partnerships Act, alone. I dunno, hit Battersea Park with a tidal wave on gay pride march day or something?

He expressed his sympathy for those who have been hit by the weather, but said that the problem with "environmental judgment is that it is indiscriminate".

Hang on a minute here? What's with the environmental judgement thing. God, being omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent can (with allowances for human free will depending upon your theological position on predeterminism) do anything he damn well pleases so surely whistling up a flood the trashes the naughty and spares the innocent is a walk in the park? Either that or he just unleashes the environment to do what it wants - doesn't sound like a very loving act to me?

The West is also being punished for the way that it has exploited poorer nations in its pursuit of economic gain. "It has set up dominant economic structures that are built on greed and that keep other nations in a situation of dependence. The principle of God's judgment on nations that have exploited other nations is all there in the Bible," he said.

So was the Boxing Day tsunami the poor nations of the East being punished; look at all those dead fuckers, he must really be ticked off at them. And what are they being punished for, giving western tourists poor service at the poolside bar? And how come all these poor countries get hit with natural disasters all the time? In the UK last year the number of fatalities from flooding was about three, in Bangladesh it was in the thousands.

On the same subject we last had a major flood with loss of life in 1953, around 300 people died. No global warming then and I really can't think that God was upset about the government passing the Agriculture (Ploughing Grants) Act in 1952 (mind you the old Witchcraft act was repealed in 1951 so maybe it was that and God just had a lot on in the early 50's)

Somebody desperately needs to give Bishop Dow a few whacks round the head with his crozier, might jump-start his brain if we're lucky.

At least there was one minor note of sanity...

The Rt Rev Richard Chartres, Bishop of London, said: "We are all part of the problem and part of the solution. Instead of living as if we owned the earth we need to recover a sense of being participants in a web of life with responsibilities to other life forms and to our children."

Well yes... except that it was your lot who told us for years that the we humans were touched by god and above all that natural world stuff which was ours to do with as we pleased and the pagans who kept saying we had to respect the natural world. Nice to see at least some of you are coming round; about 18 centuries late but at least you're getting there.

Dear President Hu

Hello Mr President. Mr President? Oh there you are down there, sorry I was expecting someone taller.

Anyway this is an open letter from us in the Fens to you about climate change. We notice with alarm that you are going to put economic development over reducing greenhouse gases which as you know are leading to global warming, superbugs, rampant botty-sex and there never being anything decent on the TV of a saturday evening.

To us living in the Fens global warming is not merely a theory, it is a cold, hard fact that nobody is allowed to argue with at all. Most of this winter it was so wet that I couldn't get to the pub without a boat Your actions in China directly affect us here in Soggy Bottom. You may say that we in the fens are far away and very few, and you would be right, but that doesn't stop us moaning and whining about our special rights to be here as we have been here since the 17th century when this cloggie came over and...

...err...

... built a load of sea defences and clever drainage channels and sluices so that what was a huge fucking mass of shifting, flooded silty marsh became useful farmland and habitable villages where the sea didn't come in the front door every winter.

Hey, if we could do it with picks and shovels and a clever Dutch guy back then think what we could do now!

Hey Mr Hu, keep on keeping on. We'll keep going with the cheapie holidays too, we might even send some of our pissed up lager louts over to you, you're missing a trick there - you should rebrand Beijing as the must-go-to stag weekend destination.

Oh this is going to be good. Apparently an eskimo is going to come over here to tell us that we're all very bad for wanting to fly to Prague for twenty quid and that if we all don't stop it very shortly he's going to be living in a puddle instead of an igloo.

First up I see a marketing opportunity, maybe I could open a shop in Alaska selling fridges.

And hang on, he's going to come over here. How's he getting here; on the back of a whale? But wait there's more...

Nicodemus Illauq, an Inuit from northern Canada, told the gathering in Belize of representatives of Arctic peoples and island states

Belize! That would be this Belize located just north of the equator would it? What the fuck were they doing in Belize and how the hell did they get there! Penny to a pound they flew there as it's a fuck of a paddle in a kayak I can tell you.

Turns out that out fur clad friend has already written his speech so lets have a listen shall we...

Hello Mr Aqqualung... pull up a penguin and sit yourself down and do take those tennis racquets off your feet.

What happens in Britain affects us in the north. You may say that the expansion of London Stansted airport will play only a small part in increasing climate change, but everyone can say that about almost everything they do. It is an excuse for doing nothing. The result of that attitude would be catastrophic.

Our air travel contributions are a zit on an arse the size of jupiter. You would be better off going and having a word with the Chinese and Indians but I recon they would give you pretty short shrift.

Most flights from Stansted are not for an important purpose. They are mostly for holidays and leisure.

Pardon? Who the fuck are you to tell me what is and isn't important to me? Look you tosspot we work fucking hard in shitty jobs for employers who treat us like the dogshit on their shoes; those few days away in the sun or getting hammered in Bucharest are all that keeps the vast majority of us sane.

The Inuit are experiencing first- hand the adverse effects of climate change. We are on the front line of globalisation.

Tell that to all the poor fucks whose jobs have been outsourced to India.

For generations, Inuit have observed the environment and have accurately predicted weather, enabling us to travel safely on the sea-ice to hunt seals, whales, walrus, and polar bears

What do you want, a fucking medal? For years my ancestors observed the environment and predicted weather enabling them to plant and reap fields and rear sheep. Then we invented weather sattelites and the science of meteorology so we don't need those skills any more. All that statement says to me is that you're not a very advanced people. Oh and hunting whales and those nice furry seals... you are going to find out that that doesn't play well with the home crowd here, even when you say...

We don't hunt for sport or recreation. Hunters put food on the table. You go to the supermarket, we go on the sea-ice.

We used to do that too, then we invented supermarkets. Do you know why we did this? Well basically because nipping down to Tescos for a bung-it-in-the-oven lasagna is a fuck of a lot easier than crawling through the undergrowth for hours tracking some bloody deer. Now are you going to have the balls to ask your people, really ask them "Now what would you prefer: sitting freezing your arse off for hours in the hope of skewering a walrus or popping into Sainsburys for a packet of sausages?" because I bet I can tell you the answer.

When we can no longer hunt on the sea-ice, we will no longer exist as a people.

Yes you fucking will. The English no longer do maypole dancing, weave their own cloth or make motorcycles any more and still exist as a people. If you define yourself as a people only by your ability to hack whales into little bits then maybe it's time you stopped existing as a people.

Talk to hunters across the north and they will tell you the same story: the weather is increasingly unpredictable. The look and feel of the land is different. The sea-ice is changing. We have even lost experienced hunters through the ice in areas that, traditionally, were safe.

We had kind of noticed the weather is changing here too you know. Anyway I'm sure the walruses found your experienced hunters to be very tasty. Global warming kind of evens up the odds, eh, Nanook?

Several Inuit villages have already been so damaged by global warming that relocation, at the cost of hundreds of millions of dollars, is now their only option.

Well you better get relocating then hadn't you. Let me introduce you to the east coast of the UK where in some places coastal erosion has made whole communities have to relocate. There's nothing permanent about human habitation; coastlines change, rivers alter course, people move; it's what makes humans so successful as a species.

Climate change is not just a theory to us in the Arctic, it is a stark and dangerous reality.

OK so now you need a good beating with the science stick. Global Warming, or more accurately the anthropogenic theory of global warming, is as much a theory as evolution, gravity and relativity.

Some might dismiss our concerns, saying: "The Arctic is far away and few people live there." That would be immensely short-sighted, as well as callous.

The key is "few people live there". Sure it's a bit of a pisser for you but like it or not your way of life is going to have to change. You change, you adapt and you survive; fail to do so and you die. That's not being callous, that's just reality.

Polar bears, walrus, ringed seals and other species of seals are projected to virtually disappear. Our ecosystem will be transformed, with tragic results. Where will we go then for our food?

I feel more sorry for the bloody polar bears than I do for you, you whiny fuck. You can change, they have fewer options. As to where will you go for you food I refer you to the supermarkets I mentioned earlier.

Climate change in the Arctic is not just an environmental issue with unwelcome economic consequences.

I think that you'll find that it is!

It is a matter of individual and cultural survival. It is a human issue. The Arctic is our home and homeland.

Well you're just going to have to up sticks and move to the rockier bits aren't you. Look mate, my "home and homeland" is in a fucking swamp 2 metres above sea level so assuming our lovely government isn't going to see some fucking sense and stop pouring money into the black hole that is Africa and pour it into sea defences for their own citizens then at some point my "individual and cultural survival" will rely on me moving. Why the fuck are you any different?

What can Inuit - only 155,000 of us - do about this global situation?

Bugger all, quite frankly.

We are not asking the world to takes a backward economic step

I think that you'll find that's exactly what you're asking the world to do.

All we are asking is that our neighbours in the south greatly reduce their emissions of greenhouse gases.

OK, you stop murdering those cute seals and we'll see what we can do.

This does not need big sacrifices, but it will need some change in people's lifestyles. Is that plane trip really necessary?

But you don't need to change your lifestyle, right? And that plane trip might not be necessary (is yours to come here to the enquiry - you could send us a videotape but that would cut down on those photo-ops that all politicians like you love so much) but it's my money and I'll fucking decide what to do with it and wankstains like you can go and take a running jump if you think you can tell me otherwise.

Now put those stupid tennis racquets back on and piss off.