Tuesday, September 01, 2009

We got the crusties

You may have seen on the news that some of the trustafarian "climate change" protesters currently infesting Blackheath decided to target Banko di Haggis today:

"Protesters glued to floor of bank"

Well as your scaly green chum was there, they decided to occupy the next row of desks to where I sit, let me let you in on a few details as to how this actually went down.

Firstly, here they are should you pass them in the street and want to give them the business end of a breath weapon turned up to "toasty" so they can experience some Local Climate Change.



Nice looking bunch of layabouts filling in those long summer months before heading back to uni to that all important Media Studies degree.

Protesters have glued their hands to the floor of the Royal Bank of Scotland headquarters in the City of London.


As you can quite clearly see their hands are not glued to the floor at all, what they did was actually glue themselves to each other with one of them putting his arm around a pole supporting a TV similar to the one on the right of my picture.

Twelve Climate Camp protesters dressed as construction workers stuck themselves to the floor while a further 100 protested outside.


As you can see they are NOT dressed as construction workers, and there were in fact six of them.

To be honest they were pretty well behaved for protestors and just sat there occasionally chanting their "whose planet - our planet" chants plus another one that seemed to go to the tune of those old Jack Dee beer commercials (the "Widget, it's got a widget, a lovely widget, a widget it has got" one) and every so often one of them would start banging on to the gathered wage slaves of B de H about how bad we were and we should be nice to mummy earth and "as traders you can make a difference"

It was at this point that some kindly employee pointed out to them that, although this looked like a trading floor all the traders had moved and we were, in fact, a bunch of IT guys and beancounters.

The plod were, as you would expect with every employee of the bank wielding a pretty high end mobile phone camera, (and no it was not me that sent these images to the Daily Fail) being on their best behaviour despite one of the gobby little shits who looked not unlike Japan's bass player Mick Khan giving it a load of verbals about how the police were breaking the law by not giving their names (son, they don't need to, only their numbers) and eventually the riot act was read to them, they refused to shift until RBS stopped hurting mummy nature and some chaps with solvents turned up, put safetey goggles on the crusties and de-glued them. Of course our little protesters wanted to milk this for all they could get so despite the gig being up they insisted on being dragged out...



About two hours later one of my colleagues reported that our unwashed friends were outside the front of the building once more, no doubt having been taken down to Bishopsgate nick and then let straight out with a police caution.

To be honest I have no problem with them protesting, I disagree with what they say but they have a perfect right, indeed a duty, to say it. But you interfered with my sausage sandwich and coffee this morning so if it were down to me I'd have invoked the disaster recovery plan, cleared the floor and left you there for a couple of days - let's see how your commitment to the cause is when you're sat in your shit and are hallucinating because of dehydration.

Fucknuggets the lot of you.

(Video of one of the silly twats getting dragged out as soon as I can get YouTube to bleeding well work)

2 comments:

Stephen said...

Thanks for pointing out the sloppy reporting at the BBC. Sorry their demonstration spoiled your sandwich, it may have been better for you if you worked at Edelman...

A further 15 activists staged a naked demo and climbed the roof of central London public relations firm Edelman.

Dracunculus said...

Yes I did see that. The general consensus was that we were very pleased our crusties kept their clothes on.

To be honest it's not just the BBC it was all the mainstream media outlets. I recon what happened is that some outside crusty said "500 of our brave warriors are inside and have occupied the trading floor shutting it down by glueing themselves to the floor" to one reporter who lazily stuck that on the wires without checking and it was just lazily reported as fact by everyone else.

Trust nothing you read.