Haunted by the ghost of Macpherson

So now we cower in fear of a bunch of 100 or so teenage hoodies smashing up the place and nicking phones and tellies.

Well we let it happen, you and I. Sure some black kid got stabbed by a bunch of white thugs and plod make a horlicks of the investigation and so along comes the Macpherson report and lo and behold the police are "institutionally racist" and for years afterwards it's diversity this and kid-gloves that, maybe it needed to happen but it went way, way too far. Then along comes NuLabour with a new law every 32 nanoseconds and anyone who so much as raises his voice at anyone doing wrong or breaching the peace is descended on like the proverbial ton of bricks and hauled away as the miscreant.

"The police will protect you," we were told, "do not get involved, call the police, that is what they are there for, they're trained you see and have been on the relevant diversity and health and safety courses and wear florescent jackets. You, citizen, are not qualified. And don't you even dare think of arming yourself to protect your life, family and property. Trust in us, the police will be there."

Only now we see that Faustian bargain was just that. The police aren't there, they're not going to help, they will not stand there and protect your property or your life. Sure they might trawl facebook when this is over and nick the few mouthbreathers who were stupid enough to put "this is me an' me mates looting PC World innit" photos online but that's scant comfort to the asian corner shop keeper who's seem his livelyhood taken from him by the feral youth that decades of softly-softly policing, lefty pandering to the feckless, celebrity above talent and hard work culture and, quite frankly, not one us feeling we are able to stand up to insolent and loutish behaviour has created.

The scumbags perpetrating these mass lootings don't just think they are immune, they know they are untouchable. There are no consequences, even if caught they'll jet some token community sentence and an ASBO badge of honour.

This has, I would posit, gone too far for any remedial tinkering by our spineless politicians. If we want our communities back we will have to fight for them. What you won't see in the mainstream media today is the reports of mainly Turkish shopkeepers arming themselves with baseball bats and banding together to protect their businesses. Of 400 mainly asian young men fighting off 100 or so mainly afro-carribean youths in East London who were set on looting and causing mayhem. You need the very tools the rioters themselves use to get these stories.

We do have an answer. It's quite an old one, dates back to 1791 and it goes like this:

A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the People to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

No Blacks, no Irish, no dogs

Which, as Lenny Henry once observed "made it really difficult for a black irish wolfhound to get a room"

Which leads me to the ruling today that batshit crazy christian fundy nutjobs Hazel and Peter Bull have been giving a good shoeing to the tune of £3600 for not letting a couple of guys who were on the other bus stay at their guesthouse. Bad move Hazel, not only has this cost you a shitload of cash but looking at you and your place you could really have done with some make-over advice from a couple of gentlemen who are "good with colours".

Now personally I believe that as private individuals, with a private business, receiving no money from the state that they are fully entitled to do what they want with their property and it is no business of the state who they choose to let interact with their business and on what terms. Yes and that does include saying "No blacks, no Irish and no dogs and no pufters" if they want. That's entirely their prerogative as it is mine to call them nasty spiteful homophobes who are probably secretly turned on by the idea of bottysex.

Regrettably I'm rather torn because anything that puts the boot into the religious and makes them look like the reactionary fossils that they are makes happy steam come out of my nose but on balance I think it's wrong. I would happily, for private individuals and businesses, tear up every single bit of "equality" legislation. Don't want to hire black people, well that's up to you. Mind you if you do I'll boycott your business which won't last that long as you won't be able to hire from the full pool of talent out there and your competitors will.

But as that's not going to happen any time soon forgive me if I sit here giggling and bouncing up and down on my green scaly tail whilst the Xtians whinge and moan about "we are a persecuted minority".

Yeah sucks when the boot is on the other foot doesn't it! Hang on I'll call you a whaaaambulance.