Burn the Witch!

Ah, nothing like a good paedophile panic in the morning to set you up for the day, good old paedophiles, the witches of the 21st century, moral panic, guilt-free hatred and a bit of tittilation thrown in for good measure. Where would we be without them - hating someone else presumably.

Today's panic has been running all day on Sky news (which my employer thoughtfully lets us all watch on giant fucking plasma screens suspended on the walls) and it's even got the internet in it - yay we got the whole cunting package here boys!

Online paedophiles are cruising a virtual world to act out their sexual fantasies with young children. Sky News reporter Jason Farrell has been investigating the darker side to the virtual world Second Life - and found an area called "Wonderland" that is being used by child abusers.

Oh Noes! Poor online children innocently going online and being targeted by nasty, evil peedofils! Shut down Second Life now. No shut down the whole of the InterWeb just to be sure.

Only...

Wonderland is a virtual children's playground where paedophiles cruise and kids are solicited," said Farrell. ... "After talking to one child I was offered a range of sordid and sick sexual acts.

Errr... well let me spell this out for you Mr Farrel - YOU WERE NOT SPEAKING TO A CHILD! What you were talking to was some sad sack in ill-fitting polyester trousers and round glasses called Raymond who is 32 and still lives at home with his mother. If you went round to Club Fur in Second Life do you think that the six foot tall raccoons and foxes you are chatting to have fluffy tails and paws in real life you fucking moron.

Look I hold no brief for people who get their jollies for fantasizing about sex with minors but surely it's better for them all to be in here where they are doing imaginary things to each other with badly animated pixels than actually out in the real world actually doing anything physical to an actual child. And no I don't buy this "oh it feeds their fantasies and they'll go and act them out." arse the NSPCC comes out with. I don't go out and deliberately drive my car into pedestrians and gun down policemen after I've played a bit of Grand Theft Auto. If anything this might just keep the lid on a few people and actually keep them from really doing real. But what if you were to innocently stroll into "wonderland" get into something there (or any online environment) that freaks you out or someone starts doing something you don't like?

You see that power lead going to your computer? Give that a good hard tug at the end that's plugged into the wall and the problem will immediately go away.

This was just bone fucking idle tabloid journalism at its worst, sloppier than a bag full of raccoon puke. Mr Farrell, for this piece of bullshit you deserve strapping to a table and raping with elephant dildos.

And not in a virtual way either.


(Disclaimer: I have never once been on Second Life, my first life is too busy to permit it and if my internet connection sucked any harder than it does I'd probably enjoy it)