So this is Christmas

So this is Christmas

Yeah I noticed. People seem to be laying in enough food for the siege of Mafeking, my office has rugrats running around and getting into the server room (one of whom is bawling its head off on my train and will very shortly, unless it shuts the fuck up, be experiencing the wrong end of a dragon's breath weapon) and at the station this evening some twerps were effecting a massacre of God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman by playing it exactly half a semitone flat.

And what have you done?

You mean apart from sticking a talon through the back of some granny's head when we were both going for the last pack of chestnut stuffing in Marks & Spencers? Bugger all quite frankly.

Another year over, and a new one just begun.

Don't suppose there's any chance of drowning the current government in a vat of superheated wolf semen before the 31st so we can all have a good start to the year is there?

As you can probably guess I'm not one for Christmas. Basically I'm now on the train home and once inside with the last of the supplies (plus the dead granny the store staff insisted I remove) the drawbridge will be drawn up and I'm not coming out until the 27th when I will no doubt have to contend with every other fuck who has now run out of any form of nourishment which is not poultry based and will gladly sacrifice his children's Nintendo Wii for a supermarket frozen pizza.

For the final word on Christmas, I defer to my fellow grumpy mythological creature, Two the Ranting Gryphon and his thoughts on the festive season....

"Guess what junior, there's some fat red man at the North Pole who's going to fly here on some elk and bring you the latest name-brand dildos."

Hear it all here (very NSFW!)

And with that, I shall see you all in the new year.