"One of the elves got smacked in the face and pushed in a pram."
I would gladly have stumped up the 25 quid just to see an elf get worked over. Pointy eared bastards.
Anyway it turns out that there is a "proper" Lapland theme park somewhere down in Kent that is at great pains to point out that their Tunnel Of Light is more than just a couple of fairy lights in a tree and so our pals at Pravda went over and did a road test.
Mind you I think for shits and giggles the one that got closed down sounds funnier, this one just sounds barf-inducing.
An information board at the entrance explains the "flight" will be one of the imagination, travelling down the magical pathways that elves have used to get around for centuries, and which have been specially opened up for the lucky children invited to come.
Be still my churning stomach.
We are greeted by people dressed in traditional Sammi costume, some with husky dogs, although others are in tackier Rudolph costumes.
Something for the furries then. However then they go and stand in the reindeer shit...
and the trip begins with a lecture on recycling from an "eco-elf".
Fucking hellski!
1 comment:
I remember from my youth that Matchams was a rather dodgy "Country Club" where in days of pre 24 hour drinking one could go to imbibe all day - seems not much has changed then - still ripped to the tits and clueless due to too much booze but just dressed as Elves.
Ah nostalgia much underrated!
Post a Comment