Pocket Wolves

I has them.



Sorry about the crappy picture but this was the best I could do with my phone at the time.

Please say hello to Loki and Freyja, little furry bundles of 11 week old Alaskan Malamute cuteness. Into everything, piddling on the floor and crapping something that appears to be a combination of toxic waste and velcro.

More pics to follow (of the dogs, not the crap)

Please to be speaking up as you are the dyings

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8163930.stm

The National Flu Service is expected to go live later, giving thousands of swine flu sufferers access to drugs without needing to consult a GP.

The phone and website service, which will only cover England, is the first of its kind in the world.

...

Dr Richard Vautrey, of the British Medical Association, which has helped to design the checklist being used by the flu service, said: "What we have to remember is that this is a unique situation.

"So as long as the call handlers get the correct training we can be confident in this service."

Yeah, right. Something like this then...

Good Morning. My name is Gupta, how can I be of helping you?

You are having the sneezings and ache of the head and sore of throat yes? And you are the saying you are keeping the random motherfuckers on fire setting? And you are saying all you can smell is the truffle?

I am the thinking perhaps you have the piggy flu. Please give me your name so I can the medicine be getting for you.

I am sorry I am not understanding. Please can you be spelling name.

D for Dupiaza yes?

Is that A as in Aloo?

No is R as in Raita?

Now is A for Aloo?

Now is G for something in indian food that start with G

I am the sorry line is not good here in Delhi, please to be roaring more loudly Mr Draggle

Atishoink

Oh wonderful. Yesterday we had an email round saying that someone has gone off with "self diagnosed suspected swine flu" - which probably means he has a sniffle and fancied a few days off. However as it seems he was over in our office on Monday and had a lengthy meeting with someone on my team who sits on the next bank of desks the whole of that desk row has been quarantined - which means sent home and told not to come in for 4 days in case they suddenly start oinking and developing a really good nose for truffles.

Of course this now means that everyone on my team is now at home putting their feet up and watching Richard and Judy and left holding the fort is one very, very pissed off small green dragon.

Also the person that our latter day Typhoid Mary happened to be meeting was someone I subsequently spent the rest of the Monday afternoon with plus a good portion of Tuesday sharing a keyboard as we did some pair programming and fixed a couple of problems. So if this is genuine I'm fully expecting to start turning pink and squealing come the end of the week.

If you cross a dragon and a pig do you get a pigeon?

Kicking kids whilst they're down

Snapped this on the train the other day.



Bloody hell, can you imagine anything worse that this. You're a kid, you're probably in pain, you're probably scared and then some numpty with greasepaint all over it's fizzog starts leaping around the ward making a racket, getting in the way of the nursing staff and waving shit in your face, oh sorry that would be "turning the ward into a magical playspace".

Just look at the kid - the little fucker is petrified!

Look clowns are not funny, never have been, never will be. They are also definitely the wrong side of the cute - creepy axis so if you're a kid in hospital do all your fellow patients a favour and if a "clown doctor" comes into your ward in a stupid car with the doors falling off beat it to death with your drip stand.

It's allowed, killing clowns is justifiable homicide. I looked it up on Wikipedia so it must be true.