Headquarters at Banko di Haggis periodically update our PC wallpaper with some corporate nonsense just to show what a wonderful organisation we are so privileged to work for. Usually it's some picture of some sporty types winning something with a bit of writing saying that Banko Di Haggis is now rated the #2 deal maker in European Elephant Dung Futures by "What Excrement?" magazine.
However today we get this gem...
Right. So I've been to quite a few offices of the company in different countries and one thing that I have noticed is that our once-proud banking organisation doesn't actually have any cetaceans on the payroll, not even dolphins who are supposedly quite clever. So unless this is the new head of accounts receivable I'm not exactly sure how I am supposed to leverage the financial and IT talents of a fucking five ton sperm whale.
However should, due to our government owners' latest diversity and inclusion legislation, we end up actually employing any large blubbery aquatic mammals I can assure my employer that I will treat them exactly as I treat my existing co-workers, i.e. with a mixture of derision and contempt1
1 Actually I don't mind most of them, apart from the Quants, obviously.
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2 comments:
I support diversity throughout our country but what annoys me is when employers monitor the diversity of their workforce and then want to meet diversity quotas so that they can claim to have a representative workforce. This diversity quota idea simply stinks, you should employ ONLY on suitability for the job and not on how diverse a job seeker appears. We are all simply a wage number to our employers and not a member of some diverse group.
I always make a point of ticking the "other" box on forms where it asks what my ethnicity or sexuality is - that really annoys them, especially the police who stop you for those "anti terrorist" searches only because they need to get the numbers up so they don't get accused of "just stopping muslims".
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