According to my manager I have been appointed the "Global Head of August" which apparently means that as everyone else in the team appears to be taking some if not all of next month off which leaves your scaly green friend the only person with any experience with his hands on the controls.
Why is everyone off in August? Ah that would be because they all have made a lifestyle choice to have little kiddies and August is school holidays and of course as I have made the other lifestyle choice not to clutter up my existence with little ankle-biters everyone assumes that I won't want to take any holidays in the summertime.
Well thanks for consulting me guys. And also, as it was your choice to have kids, how come you get tax breaks and benefits from government and I don't?
Oi Cleggeron! How about a "Covering for you when you have to go to Tarquin and Chardonnay's school sports day / leave early because it's parents evening / must have a week in Lloret del Mar when it's sunny and you just have to put up with whatever's available in September" tax credit.
Yeah, didn't think so.
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