Wick

So it turns out that due to a massive geographical error by me who thought that Caithness was somewhere to the west of Glasgow I now find that I have to go to a wedding in Wick, the most northerly town in mainland UK.

Bum.

Oh well start to have a look around at the best way to get there. Driving is out as I don't have enough time and it's a 1200+ mile round trip and a look at our crappy railways shows that it will take the best part of fourteen hours to get from where I live in Norfolk to Wick and cost the best part of 130 quid so long as I get the cheapie fares. So that leaves flying.

Ah but that makes me an irresponsible planet destroying dragon doesn't it. Taking all those budget flights and even more so taking an internal flight. Bad dragon, naughty dragon, Dave the Cameroon wants you to pay lots of tax for being such a selfish dragon and not thinking about your carbon pawprint.

Dave, just stand there whilst I breathe on you, you useless cunt. Oh and Gordon, if you could stand your ugly, blubbery, dour presbetarian arse next to him, there's a good chap.

Look I'm not a "climate change denier", it would appear from the evidence that on balance of probabilities anthropogenic carbon is having an effect on global temperatures. But taxing the wings off my back because I have to fly to fucking Wick isn't going to make any difference whatsoever. I need to go, flying is the only option so now I have to pay you cunts more money for the privilege. And what the fuck in this unilateral "we will cut carbon by blahblahblah percent" shite you've all been coming out with. Look tossers we are a pimple on the arse of the world when it comes to carbon emissions; all you'll do is pauper the country whilst the likes of China and India do bog all about it and grow their economies. Sure you can stand up in international meetings and go "Now you should all be good boys and girls and we can lecture you now because we've done it" and said nations will go "Yeah, sure, fuck off but thanks for all those jobs and industries that you let us have" and it will give you a nice warm fuzzy feeling right up until the point where you get back to the UK and are flayed alive with low-emission chainsaws by the angry jobless, penniless mob whose houses have all flooded because you spent all the flood defence money on helping Shitholestan install wind turbines and solar panels.

And this is now all three parties trying to "outgreen" each other by the brute instrument of taxing people (well, middle class people who have the money to pay taxes at any rate) to change their behaviour. Guess it's a vote for "None Of You Cunts" scrawled over the ballot paper come election time.