How to masturbate an elephant

Lord Reith founder of the BBS said that the mission of the organisation was to "Educate, Inform and Entertain" and they fulfilled all three yesterday with a programme from the Horizon series about an artificial insemination project in zoos.

I now know how to masturbate an elephant but as it would appear that the technique is to ram your arm vigorously up its arse for fifteen minutes whilst your colleague stands by with a very large bin-bag I cannot see my using this new found knowledge any time soon (well that and I do not know any elephants). Mind you the other side of the process seems to involve fiddling around in a lady elephant's front bottom with an endoscope whilst the normal bottom poos on your head so is even less glamorous. So although it would be über-cool to have "Elephant Wanker" on your business cards I think I'll pass.

Bit easier with Rhinos - apparently you shove a modified cattle prod up their bum. Mind you we did get a nice close up of a rhino willy which was quite fascinating as it has these "wings" on either side of it which somehow allowed Mr Rhino to stay on top of Mrs Rhino for up to an hour whilst apparently he has a snooze (hint to the rhino... most blokes wait until immediately after the act before taking a kip). Still I guess it will give the boys and girls over at Zeta Creations a new template work from (link is most definitely NSFW!!)

Anyway, an utterly fascinating 50 minutes of TV - this is what I pay my licence for.