News from the future.

Dragons, being of a somewhat magical nature, occasionally experience timeslips when flying about and I had one a day or two ago. Unfortunately for you (and me) I didn't manage to get tomorrow's lottery numbers but I did manage to snag this news item from May 2008...

Pogo Bounce for Madeleine
Increasingly desperate to keep a jaded and disinterested press reporting on the now all but abandoned search for their missing daughter Gerry and Kate McCann today waved off 30 bewildered and confused children on the first leg of the Praia da Luz, Portugal to London, England pogo stick hop.

"We are determined to pully any stupid, fuckwitted stunt out of our arses to keep our story in the news," Gerry McCann, father of the missing child, said today. Although doctors have advised the couple that they expect at least half of the participants to expire from exhaustion before they reach the Spanish border the McCanns were reported as saying "We are sure that this is what Madeleine would have wanted. Anyway a few dead sprogs might get our story a bit higher to the top of the BBC News webpage, well at least above Chris Tarrant throwing a spoon and a fucking exploding snake. for christ's sake!"

As the children bounced off into the distance Mrs McCann added "We are convinced, despite all evidence to the contrary, that out little girl will be found safe and well; we also believe that the moon is made of cheese, Elvis is alive and that my next child will be the result of immaculate conception. After all, we are catholics and as such used to believing in anything, no matter how brain-dead a notion it might be."

Deflecting criticism of the controversy surrounding the fund set up to aid the search for the child they lost whilst getting rat-arsed in a tapas bar in the town, the McCanns added "It is essential that we have as much money as possible to help us in the search for Madeleine. The forty room seafront mansion we bought is an absolute requirement to house the team of masseurs, personal trainers and media consultants who have kindly offered their services to aid us. Also we need the Gulfstream V to be able to get us to press conferences anywhere in the world at a moments notice."

"We know that most of the money came from little old ladies who were subsequently not able to heat their homes last winter but we are sure that as they gasped their last breath collapsed on the floors of their freezing houses that they were comforted by the fact that they were helping to find our little angel."