I can't believe it's not yellow chemical gloop

You probably saw reported on the news yesterday that another self appointed health-fascist by the name of Shyam Kolvekar has decided that his job of heart surgeon paid for out of my taxes is far to time consuming and interferes with his game of golf or rug-butting at the mosque or something and that butter should be banned.

Yes, that butter, you know the yellow stuff that comes out of cows, the stuff that mankind has been making and consuming since we first domesticated Daisy and Buttercup.

OK so there's the predictable backlash from the Daily Mail, the usual suspects in the blogosphere and, well, me.

Ok so he's never going to get the ban is he but it's an event with a quantum probability of close to 1 that some wanker in government is going to go "we need to discourage people from eating butter for their health so we are going to put a minimum price on cow products like butter, cream and the bullshit that spews from my mouth" of course like the minimum price on alcohol that's surely coming it will not be too punitive, yet... but once they have it, and they will, just watch it ratchet up year on year until the only way to get something tasty on your toast is to keep your own cow - assuming you can and the EU haven't made that next to impossible thanks to tons of restrictive legislation. Of course it's all for your own good.

The reason these twats get away with spouting this ordure is, I am increasingly convinced, that we have the NHS. You see as the state provides healthcare the state gets a say in how we, as individuals, manage our health. What they forget is the I fucking paid for the NHS though the 50% of my sodding income you take from me by force so if I want to eat a packet of sodding Lurpack washed down with a bottle of 12 year old Glen Cirrhosis then you can fucking well treat me using the hospitals and doctors I bastard well paid for.

Well you could but there's no way I'll let you as I'm not being treated in your MRSA ridden pits staffed by nurses who barely speak English and got their qualifications by sending away five corn-flake packet tops. So despite having to pay for the NHS I have medical insurance so if something happens at least I stand a chance of leaving the hospital without having acquired several opportunistic infections.

Anyway, back to Dr Bansturbator, he has 18 holes to play at Wentworth Park so let's not keep him waiting. Tell me doctor who are you working for...

Mr Kolvekar's comments were issued by KTB, a public relations company

And KTB are also the PR Company for?

a public relations company that works for Unilever

And besides soap and toothpaste what do Unilever make?

Unilever, the maker of Flora margarine

Riiiight.

But there's no link...

a KTB spokesman said there were no financial ties between the consultant and Unilever and he was not receiving any payment. 'These are his views,' added the spokesman.
The surgeon timed his comments to coincide with the Food Standards Agency's campaign to promote the virtues of low-fat milk.

So why the fuck is he not saying "try your latte with semi-skimmed, it tastes nearly as good"? Of course there will be no direct link, no big fat wad of cash, but it's a bit of a coincidence don't you think.

Fuckers, torch the lot of them.