Rats not leaving sinking ship, official.

For some reason even though I am not a trader and am not on the floor in question this email plonked into my box the other day at work.

As you can see this manager seems to have heard of the concept of "motivational through co-operation" but has decided instead to subscribe to the Arthur Wellsley School of Leadership By Shouting, Shouting and Shouting Some More...

New Year - New Trading Floor Environment

The state of the Equities trading floor is, quite frankly, horrible. Despite frequent tidy-ups in the past, the floor has never looked particularly clean and tidy and this needs to change.

Two things are now going to happen.

First, on Friday there will be a clear out and tidy up of the floor by all Equities staff.

Secondly, on Saturday there will be a deep clean of the whole {floor} by the contract cleaners. Plans are also underway to change the carpet and redecorate in the near future.

In preparation for the deep clean everyone needs to:

Tidy their immediate work space/area both above and below the desks;

Remove all rubbish/shoes/gym kits/bags etc from under their desks;

Ensure any overhead storage is free from rubbish so it can be wiped down;

Remove all paperwork/rubbish from around the printer areas;

Get rid of all rubbish and place in the correct recycling bins;

Remove all (and I mean ALL food) from desk tops and either place in the kitchen cupboards or in your desk drawers. Please that you do not put the food back on your desk tops in the future. Why, you ask? Leftover food has been attracting rats to the floor. Yes, we now have rats.

To assist you all with the above, extra wheelie bins will be available on the floor from 08:00 on Friday morning. They will be clearly marked as to what waste they can be used for. We will have extra confidential recycling bins delivered to the floor for those who require them.

Should you have documents that require archiving please do so now. Your desk assistants should know how to arrange this.

I expect all desk heads to ensure these instructions are followed. Needless to say, I expect this to be taken seriously.

Refreshments will be served during the course of Friday afternoon.

Should you have any questions, please contact xxxxxx

First time I ever heard of rats boarding a sinking ship!



(Some details omitted and changed in an effort to protect the guilty - i.e. me for leaking this)