1 + 1 = how much again?

Aw diddums, poor little thick people can't add up so nasty shops take advantage of them.

Fucking hell people, if you really cannot work out how much you save on a "buy one get one half price" then maybe you are too thick to be trusted with money whether that be scrip, specie or that store card you got because although you really didn't understand what "38.7% APR" meant the nice man in the shop was so convincing and you just had to have those £200 trainers with the inflatable laces right now.

OK so let me get this straight here. You were born into a country which gave you absolutely free an education until at least age 16 and which mathematics formed a part of the curriculum. People's taxes funded this educational opportunity for you. But oh no, you were the one arseing about in class, kicking up a fuss when people like me were actually trying to avail themselves of the precious gift of knowledge, carving "Daz 4 Sharon" on the desk whilst you could have been learning what compound interest actually meant. But that was "borin'" wasn't it so you carried on in you pig-ignorance, trusting that yelling and picking on the swotty kids would get you what you wanted out of life.

Well here's some news for you, cuntsnot; that swotty kid now writes computer programs that use all those "borin'" numbers and one of the things that they do is all that money stuff which you are to fucking dense to work out and, as a consequence, the people for whom I write these programs make lots of pennies lending money to thick gits like you who would not know what an APR was if it bit you on the arse; consequently said companies are able to pay me the best part of seventy quid... an HOUR. You could work out how much that was a year if you'd paid attention in Mel Smith's* class.

As for the government - look these wankers had their chance for an education at the taxpayer's expense, they blew it, for fucks sake don't give them another one, especially with my fucking money. Leave them in their ignorance so clever folks can continue to milk them dry and keep the wheels of finance and commerce well-lubricated with stupid people's money.

And yes, I had a lovely Christmas, thanks for asking.


* Yes, that was my maths teacher's name.