So today is the saints day of that dragon murdering bastard George who also happens to be patron saint of England.
Crap saint anyaway and he is a bit, you know, foreign what with being Turkish and all which is why, despite the usual parade of idiots who think the Daily Mail letters column is the acme of debating forums, the English don't get all worked up about April 23rd the same way the Irish do about Paddy. But then St P's day is more about the four day bender than wearing a silly green leprechaun hat (not that most Irishmen of my acquaintance need much of an excuse for the consumption of alcohol and a rousing chorus of "The Black Velvet Band")
If we're having a holiday anyway can we have one in July when the weather is better; how about we adopt Thomas More (June 22) - at least he was English
Anyway if that bastard George comes round my lair I will stomp him into little Knight McNuggets and then breathe on him.
Then stomp him some more. Just to be sure.
Bastard.
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