Catch that hedge fund, catch that hedge-fund
Not so much vulture squadron, more vulture fund. Awww, poor little Zambia, well not that poor as it happens, being rich in copper, cobalt, zinc, lead, coal, emeralds, gold, silver and uranium (all things that people want and will pay good money for), but a bit poorer as they have to cough up 42 million dollars to what is in effect a debt collection agency.
Look, this is very simple. Let's say that I buy a nice shiny new plasma TV on tick from Dixons to replace the last one that I breathed on when Tony Bliar came on screen but omit to pay back the loan. Now Dixons can't be bothered to chase down that loan as it's a lot of work and no guarantee they'll succeed so what they do is sell on this "distressed credit" (as it's called in the business) at a discount (which can be quite high, up to 90% in cases where there is a snowballs chance in hell of getting the money back) to a company that specialises in distressing the people who owe money. These people then would send large burly men to my lair to remonstrate with me into paying up and they may take me to court to get the money back and ultimately would probably send in the baliffs.
So that's how it works for individuals. And so why should that not apply to countries as well. Look Zambia, you borrowed all this money, why the fuck do you think you should be excempt from paying it back same as I have to. You can show us all the pictures of hungry brown children you like but it doesn't alter the fact that you borrowed a shitload of cash and now we'd like it back please. Sure I can show my bank manager a picture of a dragon who hasn't had a chicken jalfrezi in the last month but it doesn't cut any ice with them either.
"Oh but we give all this aid to these countries and it all goes to line the pockets of these rich fat cat businessmen". Yes well maybe we should stop giving out all this aid then. Or rather if our governments want to help (we'll leave the fact that I think they should be sorting out the very real and manifest problems in their own contries rather than squandering my tax money on foreign countries out of it for a while) then they should say "OK, we're sending over a bunch of policemen, forensic accountants and sundry civil servants to sort out your corruption problem and get your governments working properly." Let me tell you that would in the long term feed, clothe and educate a shitload more brown children than sending the container ship loads of cash to sub-Saharan Africa that we do at the present. But oh no, that would be "Imperialist" wouldn't it, best to let the Africans run their own country. They are doing brilliantly at it; Zambia's president, Levi Mwanamasa1, launched an anticorruption task force in 2002, but the government has yet to make a prosecution.
Never mind, we'll just have Bono do another one of those concerts for you and send you another freight train full of cash.
1 Remember that name, it will come in handy if you're ever playing Scrabble.
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