Mohammed the teddy

There's a company on the net called "Bad Taste Bears" who sell, well, teddies that you might not want nine year old Sudanese children to take home to their mothers.

I reckon that they are missing a trick here and that with all the kerfuffle in the land that gave us the whackiest named militia ever that the market is most definitely ready for a Mohammed bear complete with turban, brood drenched scimitar and teacher's head. Hey why not have a range, you could have a Aalyah bear in a burqa or an Ali bear with a koranic verse green bandana on his head and wired up to a load of explosives.

That said I would be really curious to know just how much of my taxes went in foreign aid to Sudan last year¹ and given the outrage that is about to be perpetrated by the representatives of the "religion of peace" again just how much will go there next year.

Let me tell you the answer to the latter had better be fucking zero or else some politicos are going to get shoeing.


¹ £350,000,000 apparently. Fucking hell someone pass me a machine gun.

UPDATE: Mo the bear is up for sale on Ebay due to "a change in the school curriculum".

Y Ddraig Goch... coming to a flag near you

There's Lovely



I see over on the beeb some MP with not nearly enough work to do and obviously rattled that Plaid Cymru are getting a little too close to winning his seat ¹ has made an appeal for the close harmony singing and sheep worrying vote by suggesting that the flag of Wales (that's the one with the big hunky dragon on it above) be incorporated into the Union Flag.

Errr.. right. So something like this then



That's nice, very dragony. Rather too much red though.

Well as the union flag is a mash-up of the saint's flags of England and Scotland maybe we could incorporate the flag of St David. Well the only problem there is that it is a gold cross on a black background and even to me with my one colour neuron² I can see that this is going to look hideous with the red white and blue we already have.

Anyway I have a suggestion. Seeing as we can't use the saint's flag idea on grounds of offences against colour how about we use the heraldic animals of each country, the Welsh dragon, English lion and Scottish unicorn. Just to make it interesting and royally piss off the religious right how about we commission a good furry artists like (NSFW) TOR or (very NSFW!) Furronica to do a really eyeball-melting spooge fest three way dragon/lion/unicorn orgy picture³ and we can put that on our flag.

Run that up the flagpole and I'd salute it.



¹ Turns out he doesn't even have that excuse as he got nearly double the votes of his nearest rival representing the Lib Dems. Just another publicity hungry politico then.

² Which is why I was such a failure at being gay. Oh the sex stuff wasn't a problem but I can't come up with a colour scheme for redecorating the house to save my life.

³ That'll get the Google referrers pouring in!

Nutter

I'm not sure whether to be happy or get torching-random-bastards angry about this...

Tony Blair avoided talking about his religious views while in office for fear of being labelled "a nutter", the former prime minister has revealed.

Well it is encouraging that the British people rightly regards anyone who persists in the mass delusion that is the sky pixie is at the very least a bit unhinged and therefore not someone we would trust with the launch codes to nuclear weaponry but what ticks me off good an proper is that this lying, cheating sleazebag was quite happy to keep quiet that he was reading his bible, chatting to his invisible friend and then deciding to send thousand of young men to their death because "God told him to".

I am convinced that anyone who shows even a shred of religious belief should be, a priori debarred from holding public office of any kind. A religious belief makes you impervious to logical argument because, in the end, God trumps everything.

T' other blog

Is gone.

Johnny has two mummies...

... three daddies and 10% of his DNA from a Charolais bull called Henry.

Religious leaders

Uh oh! You know this isn't going to be pretty don't you.

have expressed concern over plans to make it easier for lesbian couples to use IVF to become parents.

Incredible isn't it, it's almost a Pavlovian response. Say the world "lesbian" or "gay" to a "religious leader" and the dogs start salivating. Can't see what they are getting all wound up about anyway as all that book written by a bunch of stoned Arabs says is throw rocks at a woman who lies with another one; didn't say anything about "Oh and if they start arseing around with donor sperm and test tubes, throw more rocks!"

Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor wrote: "The bill proposes to remove the need for IVF providers to take into account the child's need for a father when considering an IVF application and to confer legal parenthood on people who have no biological relationship to a child born as a result of IVF.

The key phase here, Moron-O'Connor is "Legal Parenthood", my birth certificate has as my legal parents two people who have no biological relationship to me whatsoever as I was adopted. Who gives a flying fuck what it says on a bit of paper; the law is a human construct and humans can change it when the old law no longer suits what society has become.

"This radically undermines the place of the father in a child's life, and makes the natural rights of the child subordinate to the desires of the couple. It is profoundly wrong."

What "natural rights" of the child are these? And what choice does any child have to come into the world. Surely every child is conceived as a result of the desires of the couple whether dishonourable (quick knee trembler outside the disco and you were too pissed to put a condom on) or honorable (we would like to have a child and we will love it and raise it to the best of our abilities)

Family campaigners are also stepping up their opposition to the Bill, with former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith warning it would be a "nail in the coffin" of the traditional family and "another blow" against fatherhood.

And we should listen to a failed slaphead politician like you because?

Look, it's quite simple. Two people want to offer a loving home to a child and are prepared to go through the hassle and (I imagine) pain of IVF in order to have one; that for one thing tells me that their relationship must be pretty strong and so, hopefully, likely to last. If you really want to have a kid that much then surely you are going to love him or her when it arrives. I'd much rather have a kid being brought up by two people who love it that by some 18 year old single mum who can't keep her legs together after ten Bacardi Breezers and whose idea of parenting is to stick junior in front of an X-Box.

Hey you want male role models for the kid... how about that old concept of a godfather? You get one of those when you get baptised. I hear Westminster Cathedral is a lovely place to get that done.



(Oh and I love that picture they keep using of the cardinal... as I mentioned in a post ages ago it looks as though he's about to get assaulted with a horse sized dildo)

Entertaining Mr Rhinovirus

Atichooo.... WHUMP CrackleCrackleCrackle

Oh sorry boss, was that your Blackberry?

First proper cold of the winter has arrived and my nose is dripping like a buggered fridge. By rights I should be tucked up in bed at home but with a major release going in at work and, more importantly, the house being full of kitchen fitters being torn a new arsehole every 10 minutes by Mrs Dracunculus I think I'm better off going into the office and setting fire to my monitor every couple of minutes.

First scientist to come up with a sure-fire remedy for the common cold gets made emperor of the world if I have any say in the matter even, and I want to make this quite clear, if he has to put human foetuses and cute baby seals in a blender to invent it.

Until there's a cure, there's always Night Nurse and Glenlivet.

Loldragon

Sorry for the lack of posts of late. I've been keeping myself occupied over on Whiny God Botherer's blog having lots of giggles about god, the balance of probabilities and tea.

Normal grumpyness at idiots and government will resume next weekend as soon as I've incinerated the arseholes who promised my new kitchen would have something to cook on by this evening and doesn't.

Happy Birthday Grumpy

This blog is one year old today.

That's 194 posts, 2000 visitors and about 1,500 gratuitous uses of the word "fuck".

Thank you to all my readers. Come along to the next drinking session me and Blackpowder have and I'll buy you a drink.

Further thoughts on bleeding to death

Following up on the post about the jehova's witness who let herself bleed to death leaving her children motherless I did say in response to Leah who left some comments that I'd think about the matter further.

Over the weekend I came across this in the Independent on Sunday, an article with a former JW who went through something similar but survived and subsequently left the cult (they call it a "sect" in the paper but lets call a spade a spade here)

To be fair to Leah as well (I may be a grumpy dragon but I'm a fair one) the person being interviewed makes the point about the fear of being thrown out of the JWs and losing the world you knew is a major thing...

"When I was in labour... no way was I in any physical or emotional state to say that I might have wanted a transfusion... I'd have been cast out of the religion, which at that point was the last thing I wanted. I needed the network that being a Jehovah's Witness gave you. Plus it's a very controlling religion, and I didn't even think of challenging it."

OK but waiting until you're in labour to question your adherence to a cult that is going to deny you life saving treatment maybe wasn't the brightest of moves. Sure leaving any cult isn't easy but you would have thought that the idea might have crossed your mind that this was potentially going to kill you? I don't know, maybe the brainwashing that is religion (all of them) is too strong for most people and they are just conditioned not to ask the awkward questions. Just another reason why I loathe religion so much.

Anyway, congrats to Mrs Underhill (bet she's called Baggins really) for getting out and she makes an interesting point:

"I think that in extreme cases, doctors should be able to override a Jehovah's Witness's wishes," she added.

I would have thought that this would actually be possible under mental heath legisation and checked with Mrs Dracunculus who, as part of her professional duties, has to drag loons off the street from time to time.

Section 2 of the Mental Health Act contains the provision to compulsorily take a person against their will into hospital and administer treatment if: "he ought to be so detained in the interests of his own health or safety or with a view to the protection of other persons."

It's not generally done to adults although a different set of laws have been used to take JW's kids off them when the children needed life saving surgery and the parents refused because a blood transfusion would have been necessary. The difficulty is you have to show that the person concerned is, to use the vernacular, as mad as a lorry.

I would have thought that believing in an invisible man in the sky who made the world in six days and will throw you into a pit of eternal torment should you so much as drink a cup of tea would count as insanity.

Do horses float?

Oh bollocks....

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/7085394.stm

We're at "Flood Watch" at the moment but the fun and games is all meant to kick off around 5ish. We're all packed up and ready to go and if we need to we'll ride and lead the horses out.

Do horses float?

Well there's a fucking surprise

Prince Harry will not face charges in connection with the alleged shooting of two protected hen harriers on the royal family's estate in Norfolk.

Like we didn't know that was going to happen. Look the parasitic wankstain could machine gun pandas to death in The Mall in broad daylight and there would conveniently be "insufficient evidence"

Police officers identified three suspects - Prince Harry, William van Cutsem and David Clarke, a gamekeeper.

The only thing that does surprise me is that they didn't hang the gamekeeper out to dry.

Firstly anyone who gets their jollies from killing animals is a psychopathic sick bastard who needs drowning in blood, their own preferably.

Secondly, and appropriately as yesterday was the 90th anniversary of the October Revolution, the sooner someone takes Harry and the rest of his parasitic family down into a cellar and shoots them the better.

Selfish cunt of the decade

A young mother has died after giving birth to twins, amid claims that she had refused a blood transfusion because of her faith.

Normally if some fucktard godbotherer committed suicide because they interpreted the 3000 year old semi-coherent whitterings of a bunch of itinerant camel drivers as meaning they could not avail themselves of 21st century medicine I'd say "Excellent, just chuck her in a hole and be done with her stupidity."

But what sort of level of selfishness does it take to leave your children without a mother? What sort of evil cunt are you to condemn your kids to being told "Your mummy bled to death giving birth to you."

The twins, a boy and a girl, are healthy and being cared for by their father, Anthony Gough, 24.

Well given that Mr Gough is a member of the same mediaeval unreality cult why the fuck are these children not in care right now because you can bet that should any of these kids need surgery that requires a transfusion then they won't get it because Anthony's invisible sky fairy says they can't.

Hitler didn't have that many bright ideas but he was right on in gassing these fuckers.

Remember, Remember

Today we in the UK celebrate the foiling of a bomb plot by religious fundamentalist terrorists and the hanging, drawing and quartering of the perpetrators.

Islamonutters please take note that we still celebrate the grisly demise of Guido and his conspirators more than four hundred years after the event.

We have long memories.