Apple Twats

I hate Apple Twats. You've all seen them; stupid fucktards who have to have to be seen to be using Apple products because they think it makes them look all counterculture and stylish. I've got one on the train right now: earbuds in, tapping away thoughtfully at his stupid white i-book with the glowy apple logo in the lid, crappy goatee beard and post modern ironic t-shirt that looks like its covered in those "Make up your own poetry" magnets with words on. He's sat there, smugly tapping away and sucking a biro which he occasionally taps with his fingers like he's playing the air-flute and exuding an aura of "Look at me, I'm different, I'm not like all you sad sappy commuters, I'm something special, I'm not conforming, I'm breaking the mould, I've got a fucking APPLE!"

I really feel like wrapping Tiamat II round his fucking stupid spiky haired head.