Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Cross selling

I go into the post office today as I have a big package to send to the local council begging their permission to alter an internal wall in my own house and enclosing a cheque for the best part of 200 quid for the privilege. Needless to say this has not put me in the best of moods.

I get my bunging envelope of forms and engineers drawing weighed and I get my stamps; nice lady behind the counter even sticks them on for me. Great service. Now the problems started.

"Whilst your here would you be interested in insurance?"

Insurance for what? Car, house, second coming of Jesus fucking Christ? "Not really, thanks. Can I have my change?"

"We have saved quite a lot of people money you know, we can do..."

"I have my own insurance broker thanks. Trust me you guys would not even consider insuring the hoard of gold, jewels and eviscerated knights, my car is in a power output bracket that means I need specialist insurers, I very much doubt you do horse insurance and my house is underpinned and I live in a flood risk area and as soon as you say "underpinning" to most insurers they run a country mile in the opposite direction and hide behind their actuaries. Now how about my change?"

"I'm sure if you take a leaflet we can save you some mon..."

"JUST GIVE ME MY CHANGE YOU STUPID CUNT OR I SWEAR I WILL TURN YOU AND EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING INTO FLAMING TORCHES IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS! Ah, my change, one pound and fifty six pence. Thank you."

Wht is it impossible in the country for a simple transaction to take place without some bloody till numpty trying to flog you shit you don't need.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Poor bastards are being forced into it.
http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/consumer/article.html?in_article_id=422354&in_page_id=5&ct=5

They also have mystery shoppers so the poor counter staff are being watched.

Dracunculus said...

'We would reject any suggestion that customers get a "hard sell". We don't put pressure on our customers,' he added. 'If someone wants simply to buy a stamp or conduct a similar transaction, that's fine.'

What a bunch of gits. I got the "Do you need it guaranteed by tomorrow" spiel as well but I just put it down to a variant on the "is it valuable or urgent" line I normally get.

I almost feel sorry for her now. Maybe if I wore a t-shirt reading "No I don't need any fucking financial products you money-grubbing bastards" next time it would help speed my transaction along.