Cantonese for Dragons.

Well it's definite. I'm off to China next week, well Hong Kong to be precise. Got the official go-ahead today and booked the flights, hotels, airport transfers and special socks to stop you getting DVT. I even picked up this handy book at the local branch of Waterstones:



Neat huh! Here are a few choice entries that I'm sure will come in handy.

No, I really am a dragon. It's a very bad passport photo.
不, 真正地我上午龙。这是一张非常坏护照相片。

My hotel room had bad Feng Shui so I set fire to the bed.
我的旅馆客房有坏水因此我放了火对床。

I can torch you together or one at a time, up to you.
我能一起烧成灰您或一次一个, 由您决定。

Point that lance at me once more and you'll be extracting it from your colon.
指向, 长矛在我更加和您从您的冒号提取它

Can I have something to eat that is recognisable as food in the western hemisphere?
我可以需要某事吃是可认识的作为食物在西半球?

Sausages! I demand sausages!
香肠! 我要求香肠!

Oh OK, some dim-sum and a bottle of Kirin then.
噢赞成、某一昏暗总和和一个瓶啤酒然后。


Travel is all business class, five star hotels and limo transfers of course; your scaly green friend does not rough it when someone else is picking up the tab. Just for shits and giggles I went to have a look what my carbon footprint was for the trip. 2.16tonnes of CO2 apparently.

If I leave the courtesy reading light on do you think I could add a few grams to that?

As they say in China "什么是全球性变暖?" <sup>1




1</sup> That's supposed to say "What's global warming?" but altavista thinks it says "What is the global change in sexuality is warm?" Well it makes about as much sense as carbon offsetting!