McCanns - Close but no cigar

Did I mention that I can't fucking stand the bloody McCanns? Yes I think I did. Not content with screwing their own lives up and being culpable in the death of their kid (let's face it people, that kid isn't going to get found) thier constant harping and whining is leading to the ruination of some other poor bugger's life.

You can bet your life that the reason el ploddo portuges have been digging up this guy's garden, after previously detained and questioned him for days, drained his swimming pool, confiscated his computers and generally made his life a living hell is because they are shit scared of being seen to be "not doing anything" by the media which is constantly being prodded and poked like an angry tiger by the fucking McCann tribe.

Publicly the police have not commented on the results of the weekend search but the BBC understands it revealed nothing to link Mr Murat to Madeleine. Over the weekend British and Portuguese detectives scoured the property using hi-tech scanning equipment and a British sniffer dog.

Why are our plod getting involved here in an operation on Portuguese territory? And just how much does it cost to fly sniffer dog, handler and a 10kg bag of doggie-bix over? Do the Portuguese not have dogs then? And all this expense, paid for my me and you remember, revealed nothing. Look they have been through this guy's life with the finest of fine tooth combs and a range of equipment that would give the people in CSI stiffies just to think about it. You're not going to find anything, there's nothing to find. Even if they did find the tiniest fragment of forensic "evidence" what chance does he have of anything approaching a fair trial; we'd be looking at another Barry George case here.

Still, the McCann's have almost got themselves a Madelene's Law, they missed a bit so what they have ended up with is a "Code Madelene". Close but no cigar guys!

The McCanns have backed a scheme aimed at letting parents and staff know what steps to take as soon as a child goes missing on holiday.

Let me guess; it starts "Get yourself a really good press agent, get your fizzog on the idiot box and then sit back and whoop it up on the luxury lifestyle as you get free accomodation, little old ladies sending you money and trips round the world on some tycoon's private jet."

May your humble dragon suggest a text for a future Madelene's law? It goes like this:

"If you leave your 4 year old kid unattended whilst you and your mates go out and get pissed at a tapas bar and your kid goes missing you are guilty of the offence of child abandonment and are to be fed to a pool full of hungry mako sharks an inch at a time."