Love and Marriage

Couples who are living together should have more legal rights, according to a report from the Law Commission. It says the current law is "unjust" and the 2.2m co-habiting couples in England and Wales should have more protection if they split up.

Hang on a minute here. If couples who live together want more legal rights why don't they get married? There's nothing special about marriage; strip out all the religious fluff, white flouncy dresses and embarrassing speeches by half-cut fathers of the bride and what it is is simply a contract between two individuals conferring financial rights and obligations on both parties. You want to take advantage of those rights, nip down to the registry office with sixty quid and two witnesses, job done. You don't want those rights, you don't.

Me and Mrs Dracunculus didn't want those rights, don't need them. We own the house 50/50, have enduring power of attorney agreements in place and lodged with our solicitors and the death in service benefits are crossed signed to each other. Why are we now going to be forced into a set of legally binding financial arrangements based simply on the fact that we've lived under the same roof for a set period of time?

And just who are the Law Commission? Turns out that they are a bunch of lawyers and solicitors who will, of course, clean up when they get to represent cohabiting couples in the courts when their relationships go down the toilet. Anyone spot a conflict of interest here?

Shambo. One Tasty Moo

Harry Ramsden, Harry Ramsden, Ramsden Ramsden, Harry Harry.

You've met Shambo the bull...


Now meet Shambo the evening meal for two...


I ate him with fava beans and a nice chianti.

I'm really pleased that he's dead. Not that I wished Shambo any ill will, I'm sure he was a very nice bull as far as bulls go. No why I'm pleased is that all the folks being white wannabe Hindus up a hill in Wales were going for the "We want an exception on religious grounds. You must respect our religion. If you come and take him away you'll be interrupting a religious act of worship. Waaaah! We're SPECIAL".

Nope, you're not special because you believe some chap sat in a cloud said a bunch of stuff that you have to follow. Here's the law, bit of a stupid one based on what I know about TB but the law nonetheless and you cannot, must not, be exempt from it just because you believe in a bunch of fairy stories. If the secular world had backed down here then it would have opened the floodgates to every nutjob with a holy book to do whatever the hell they wanted. It starts with allowing diseased animals to live and goes through muslim "leaders" insisting we have to allow Sharia law in their communities and you must not interrupt them stoning some poor fucker to death as it's "our religion which must be respected".

I could have fixed the problem a while back though; quick phone call to one of my red , fire breathing Welsh cousins and there would have been a flapping of wings, a short roar, a very short surprised "moo!" and lots of lovely roast beef.

There's lovely.

Told you I would

See... look what happens when you make dragons angry. Planets get destroyed.

Me and Mrs Dracunculus call it the "Death Star" and we hum the Imperial March every time we light it.

Mad as a box of frogs

Meet the fourth in line to the Norwegian throne, this one "says she has psychic powers and can teach people to communicate with angels". Mad as a box of frogs; I blame it all on the inbreeding myself.

She says she realised as a child that she could read people's inner feelings, while her experiences with horses had helped her make contact with angels. "It was while I was taking care of the horses that I got in contact with the angels," she says.

You need to stop sniffing the hoof oil my dear.

Mind you madness does have its rewards...

Students at her centre, she says, will learn how to "create miracles" in their lives and harness the powers of their angels, which she describes as "forces that surround us and who are a resource and help in all aspects of our lives". A three-year programme at her centre costs 24,000 Norwegian crowns ($4,150; 3,000 euros; £2,000) per year.

One born every minute.

Civilization = how far away are you from your shit

Ohhh now I'm mad. The stench that these wankers bring to the human collective is almost too much to bear...

Campaigners say patio heaters emit too much CO2 People are being told to wear jumpers instead of relying on patio heaters, in an attempt to cut carbon emissions.
The Energy Saving Trust has urged retailers to stop selling the heaters after a report suggesting their use will almost double over the next year.

And I have the urge to contribute to global warming by burning down your offices and everyone in them you bunch of mendacious, fascist killjoys. But especially this man.

Chief executive Philip Sellwood said: "Why don't people just wear a jumper?"

Why don't you just crawl into a hole and die you twat. Look you slimy excuse for a life form, let me explain this to you. Human civilization has been one long process of increasing the common weal, making life easier, more comfortable and generally better. We have a word for this, it's called "progress". We don't hunt for food any more because we have supermarkets; as I explained to Nanook of the North when he was grumbling about his igloo turning into a puddle supermarkets are an improvement on crawling through the woods with a spear on the trail of Bambi. Someone once said the mark of how advanced a civilization was was the distance it had put between people and their shit. Thus it is that we now have patio heaters which make life just that little bit better that sticking on a cable knit woolly pully (or at least less of a style crime). If cunts like you had had their way we'd all still be huddled up in mastodon furs trying to make stone tools in the dark.

Half of owners switched theirs on during the hottest months of the year, July and August.

Of course they do; it's a way of extending a nice summer evening outside into twilight when it starts to get chilly. People aren't probably using these much in December when it's pissing down and freezing cold as they don't spend time in the garden then.

Mr Sellwood said: "We are calling for responsible retailers to reconsider the sale of patio heaters in light of the substantial amount of carbon emissions they produce."

And I'm sure the responsible retailers will all have been saying "Fuck you". Look they are there to make a profit for their shareholders (like me) and if they are not latching onto and servicing a growing market and thus generating revenue then there are going to be some awkward questions being asked at the AGM, and they're probably going to be being asked by a small green dragon.

It is thought that the recently imposed smoking ban in enclosed public places in England will lead to more outdoor smoking and an increase in commercial patio heaters.

Mr Sellwood said: "People are also influencing the larger, more damaging commercial sector, with a third of pub-goers choosing pubs where there is a patio heater.

"Landlords are helping to make patio heaters desirable - which they are not."

Some 31% of people who responded to the survey said they liked to sit outside pubs and would choose one with outdoor heating.

Yay... the law of unintended consequences strikes again. You make smoking inside illegal, people go to smoke outside, mine host installs a patio heater to cater for this important part of his clientèle and said clientèle say "hey, these are good, I want one".

Last month, London Mayor Ken Livingstone called for a halt in the spread of "wasteful" patio heaters and urged retailers not to promote them.

Tell you what you newt-loving freak, you stand right there next to Phil, I'll take a deep breath and you can both experience some local warming up to around 2500 Kelvin.

I don't have a patio heater but this weekend I'm off to FocusBandQBase and I'm going to buy the biggest fuck off patio heater I can just to watch your impotent little faces contort in disgust and humiliation when I fire it up because all you can do is bleat at me as to what a bad dragon I am and there is nothing, nothing your blackened little joyless souls can do to stop me.

Finden Sie eine Erklärungfür dieses

Oh this just rocks so hard my tail hasn't stopped wagging all morning. The last post I made has been translated into German.

"Mürrischer Drache". It just sounds so much better in German.

Even if your German is as appalling as my two years of Höchschule Deutsch go over to "My Automotive Information" and give Henry some traffic. And Henry, consider yourself "ein ehrend drache" (an honorary dragon) forthwith.

Oh and the whiny God-botherer picked up on the traffic spike too and did a post saying what an unhappy soul I must be and requesting prayers for my blackened, twisted soul which I suppose is better than the last Christian I upset who threatened to feed me my teeth (I think she's forgiven me but I'm not flying over Colorado any time soon just to be sure!)

Explain this one away

He missed again. Guess he was going for the four gay guys travelling the other way in a Renault but managed to smite the bus full of pilgrims going the other way:

At least 26 people have died in a coach crash near the south-eastern city of Grenoble in the French Alps. The coach, carrying mostly elderly Roman Catholic pilgrims from Poland, fell into a ravine while descending a steep incline between Grenoble and Gap. It broke through the safety barrier, fell some 15m (50ft) onto the banks of a stream, and burst into flames. About 20 passengers were also injured. "When the bus was burning, there were injured people inside," local resident Philippe Baret was quoted as saying by the Associated Press news agency. "I saw at least six of them who were stuck inside the bus and burned to death before my very eyes," he said.

Oopsie! The best bit though was last night I was flipping through the French news channels on the satellite (did I mention I speak French?) and they had some priest on who was frantically trying to explain to a very cynical reporter why God would allow such a nasty death to befall what, after all, were pretty serious members of his terrestrial fan club. Predictably he fell back on that weapon of last resort in the theists armoury, namely the logical fallacy that is the argument from special pleading, which in this case went more or less along the lines of "Of course you are not a Christian so you could not possibly understand this but God obviously has a higher purpose that we are not yet aware of but God's will will become clear in time."

Yeah, and 26 Polish grannies trapped in a wrecked coach and burning to death is just collateral damage is it?

Look guys, if this beardy guy in the sky was as good and loving as you claim then shit like this, and presumably the 414 people who died during one month last year, really would not happen. Maybe, just maybe, if you could sit down and really think hard about stuff like this, that mediaeval brainwashing you have called "faith" might clear itself up. Please do try, I know most of you are actually pretty decent people and you can think, you just need to be a bit more critical in your thinking.

Here's something to start working with: These people died because they were in a vehicle with faulty brakes which was on a road deemed too dangerous for that vehicle to be on. They died because of human stupidity, mechanical failure and the practical application of Newton's laws of motion. They were doomed the moment that bus turned down that road and nothing saved them because nothing was there to do so.

Meanwhile for my atheist chums, I found this on some whiny god-botherer blog which I think will give you a giggle:

Pope John Paul II wrote about La Salette on 6th May 1996:

"At La Salette, Mary clearly spoke of the constancy of her prayer for the world: she will never abandon the people created in the image and likeness of God, those to whom it has been given to become children of God."

Shame she didn't have more to say on the subject of motor vehicle maintenance.

Drips

Blimey, bit wet isn't it. Well that's certainly what the people of places like Tewkesbury thing as they've been flooded out. You must have been marrying your livestock, engaging in rampant botty sex or spending money on flat-screen TVs or something else that upset God you naughty people.

Alternately you could have a word with our new minister for the environment Mr Hilary Benn. Now until recently Mr Benn, when not hanging about in fancy dress shops and having adventures, was minister in charge of overseas development, you know the people who spend your tax money on "helping little brown babies" (in reality, enriching third world dictators); in 2005 they did that to the tune of 0.4% of UK GDP, a sum of $5,920,000,000, around £3.7 billion at the exchange rates of the time.

You might want to ask why that money was not spent on protecting the people of this country, you know the ones who gave the money in the first place, from flooding.

You might want to address the same question to Tory leader David Cameron at the same time. You will need to wait a while because at the moment he's in Rwanda promising to increase foreign aid to 0.7% of GDP.

The cunt.

Referrers

Among the searches that have lead people to this blog in the past few days have been:

• "Moral Errors in the Bible" - Comedy of errors more like (incidentally I'm #2 result for that, yay me!)


• "Bodil Joensen German" - No, she was Danish.


• "Know how to masturbate" - Son, if you need the InterWeb to tell you how you do not deserve your penis.


• "Big butts and titties free" - No, they are not. If it has hooves, pistons or tits it's going to be expensive.

And apparently if I were a famous criminal, I would be Vlad the Impaler.

Which Imfamous criminal are you?

You are Vlad the Impaler. The man behind the legend of Dracula. You hanged your victims, stretched them on the rack, burned them at the stake, boiled them alive, but mostly impaled them. Most of your killings were politically targeted but sometimes you killed just because you were bored. Your "reign of terror" lasted from 1456 to 1462. Estimated numbers of victims vary between 30,000 and more than 100,000.Evil Evil man. Fie on you!
Take this quiz!

Well they got that right at least.

Ah, new aquisitions

"Ah, good. New acquisitions. You are a protocol droid dartmoor pony, are you not?



"My you're a feisty little one..."



"I have need for you on the master's Sail Barge. paddock And I think you'll fit in nicely.



Welcome Ebony to Chez Dracunculus

Cross selling

I go into the post office today as I have a big package to send to the local council begging their permission to alter an internal wall in my own house and enclosing a cheque for the best part of 200 quid for the privilege. Needless to say this has not put me in the best of moods.

I get my bunging envelope of forms and engineers drawing weighed and I get my stamps; nice lady behind the counter even sticks them on for me. Great service. Now the problems started.

"Whilst your here would you be interested in insurance?"

Insurance for what? Car, house, second coming of Jesus fucking Christ? "Not really, thanks. Can I have my change?"

"We have saved quite a lot of people money you know, we can do..."

"I have my own insurance broker thanks. Trust me you guys would not even consider insuring the hoard of gold, jewels and eviscerated knights, my car is in a power output bracket that means I need specialist insurers, I very much doubt you do horse insurance and my house is underpinned and I live in a flood risk area and as soon as you say "underpinning" to most insurers they run a country mile in the opposite direction and hide behind their actuaries. Now how about my change?"

"I'm sure if you take a leaflet we can save you some mon..."

"JUST GIVE ME MY CHANGE YOU STUPID CUNT OR I SWEAR I WILL TURN YOU AND EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING INTO FLAMING TORCHES IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS! Ah, my change, one pound and fifty six pence. Thank you."

Wht is it impossible in the country for a simple transaction to take place without some bloody till numpty trying to flog you shit you don't need.

Normal Service Will Be Resumed

...after I've put up some guttering. Always assuming the bastard van that's delivering my Screwfix order shows up.

Sausage!

I think I've mentioned before that dragons like sausages. Well this dragon does at any rate; heaven is a sausage sandwich and a mug of tea.

So it was very rewarding to come across this lovely Soviet era Russian poster courtesy of my new friend and sparring partner Leah



"Demand Sausages Everywhere!"

Yay! Long live the revolution of the proletariat!

With a sense of irony normally missing from most Christians she'd attached to a post about the "Chinese eat babies" version of the old Jewish blood libel that's doing the rounds of the InterWeb at the moment and then goes on to talk about Peter Singer and zoophilia. Maybe there is hope after all.


(PS: The spell checker wanted to change "zoophilia" to "necrophilia" - reminds me of that old joke "I am into zoophilia, S&M and necrophilia. Am I flogging a dead horse?")

Apple Twats

I hate Apple Twats. You've all seen them; stupid fucktards who have to have to be seen to be using Apple products because they think it makes them look all counterculture and stylish. I've got one on the train right now: earbuds in, tapping away thoughtfully at his stupid white i-book with the glowy apple logo in the lid, crappy goatee beard and post modern ironic t-shirt that looks like its covered in those "Make up your own poetry" magnets with words on. He's sat there, smugly tapping away and sucking a biro which he occasionally taps with his fingers like he's playing the air-flute and exuding an aura of "Look at me, I'm different, I'm not like all you sad sappy commuters, I'm something special, I'm not conforming, I'm breaking the mould, I've got a fucking APPLE!"

I really feel like wrapping Tiamat II round his fucking stupid spiky haired head.

Seconds away. Round One

The Church of England is to consider possible rules for settling disputes in the Anglican Church, amid divisions over the ordination of gay priests.

The bout to be settled by two falls, two submissions or a knock-out.

A pile of rocks in Wiltshire

Apparently there was some vote for a list of "Seven New Wonders of the World" and this pile of rocks in Wiltshire was in the running



And it didn't get in whereas some concrete statue of Jesus and somebody's tomb did.

And, oh dear, if we haven't got the druids all up in a tizzy about it. That Wilmington thing has really got their blood up.

Druid Terry Dobney, who is keeper of the stones at Avebury, said he was disappointed there had not been more support for the Wiltshire monument. "It's a bit like the Eurovision song contest, there's been block voting around the world so I'm led to believe," he said.

Yep it's those bloody Motenegrans voting for the Serbians again. Maybe we should have given Stonehenge a better dance routine or been a bit stronger on the key change after the middle eight or something.

And how come you get to be "Keeper of the Stones" at Avebury. To be honest the Avebury site piddles all over it's more famous neighbour to the east in general "wow" factor and you can get right in among the stones themselves. but they have been there for a good number of years and can probably can look after themselves. Still it must be a sweet gig if you can get it "Right, check the stones, yep, all still there, off to the Red Lion for a pint."

And yet again the Pagans, in common with all religious types, show yet more wilful ignorance of the facts when they don't suit the "message"...

"They're places of intrigue, but we know who built them and why they were built, there's not a great wonderment attached to them as opposed to Stonehenge which has this great wonderment attached to it."

Stonehenge was built between 3200-3100BCE by the local neolithic people who went on to become the Devonii and it was built as a combination of religious and trading centre and happens to work as a seasonal clock as well.

Thanks to the tender ministrations of British Heritage and the hoards of tourists who come to walk round the outside of it, Stonehenge has all the wonderment of a pile of rocks in Wiltshire.

God's aim sucks

Either that, or as Depeche Mode once observed, he has a sick sense of humour.

According to Bishop of Carlisle, the current flooding some parts of the UK are experiencing is all down to the amazing power of botty sex. Yes, God is pissed at us for passing a law last year which basically says "Treat people equally under the law regardless of what sex they make the two-backed beast with" and The Almighty lets loose a flood of not quite biblical proportions...

In Doncaster for fucks sake!

Last time I was in Doncaster it was full of decidedly heterosexual Yorkshiremen and certainly not a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, well no more than any other northern industrial town. So I can safely conclude that either Jehovah meant to hit the Canal Street area of Manchester and his aim went low and right, in which case he sounds an ideal candidate to replace Flintoff in the England bowling line-up, or maybe, just maybe, this is a natural phenomenon caused by a lot of unseasonal rainfall exacerbated by silly buggers building houses on flood plains.

The bish has got some choice quotes:

The bishop, who is a leading evangelical, said that people should heed the stories of the Bible, which described the downfall of the Roman empire as a result of its immorality.

Conveniently ignoring the fact that Rome at the height of its powers worshipped Pagan gods, drank and ate itself stupid, staged fights to the death for entertainment and a statue like this one was regarded as being in exquisite taste and at the time the empire finally crumbled and the Visigoths strolled off with the loot it was Christian.

"In the Bible, institutional power is referred to as 'the beast', which sets itself up to control people and their morals.

Er... pretty much like the church did for about 1800 years then.

Our government has been playing the role of God in saying that people are free to act as they want," he said, adding that the introduction of recent pro-gay laws highlighted its determination to undermine marriage.

Disregarding the fact that our present government seems to be keen to pass as many laws as possible to specifically stop people being free at all we're back at the amazing power of bottysex again! Let the gays get wed and suddenly those promises that you and the Mrs made all those years back are suddenly null and void so you might as well just get a divorce and get the years of bitter argument over child custody under way right now.

"The sexual orientation regulations [which give greater rights to gays] are part of a general scene of permissiveness. We are in a situation where we are liable for God's judgment.

So how come God can't just judge those he doesn't like and leave the good citizens of Doncaster who, lets face it, didn't have a whole heap of input into the formulation of the Civil Partnerships Act, alone. I dunno, hit Battersea Park with a tidal wave on gay pride march day or something?

He expressed his sympathy for those who have been hit by the weather, but said that the problem with "environmental judgment is that it is indiscriminate".

Hang on a minute here? What's with the environmental judgement thing. God, being omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent can (with allowances for human free will depending upon your theological position on predeterminism) do anything he damn well pleases so surely whistling up a flood the trashes the naughty and spares the innocent is a walk in the park? Either that or he just unleashes the environment to do what it wants - doesn't sound like a very loving act to me?

The West is also being punished for the way that it has exploited poorer nations in its pursuit of economic gain. "It has set up dominant economic structures that are built on greed and that keep other nations in a situation of dependence. The principle of God's judgment on nations that have exploited other nations is all there in the Bible," he said.

So was the Boxing Day tsunami the poor nations of the East being punished; look at all those dead fuckers, he must really be ticked off at them. And what are they being punished for, giving western tourists poor service at the poolside bar? And how come all these poor countries get hit with natural disasters all the time? In the UK last year the number of fatalities from flooding was about three, in Bangladesh it was in the thousands.

On the same subject we last had a major flood with loss of life in 1953, around 300 people died. No global warming then and I really can't think that God was upset about the government passing the Agriculture (Ploughing Grants) Act in 1952 (mind you the old Witchcraft act was repealed in 1951 so maybe it was that and God just had a lot on in the early 50's)

Somebody desperately needs to give Bishop Dow a few whacks round the head with his crozier, might jump-start his brain if we're lucky.

At least there was one minor note of sanity...

The Rt Rev Richard Chartres, Bishop of London, said: "We are all part of the problem and part of the solution. Instead of living as if we owned the earth we need to recover a sense of being participants in a web of life with responsibilities to other life forms and to our children."

Well yes... except that it was your lot who told us for years that the we humans were touched by god and above all that natural world stuff which was ours to do with as we pleased and the pagans who kept saying we had to respect the natural world. Nice to see at least some of you are coming round; about 18 centuries late but at least you're getting there.

Jumping on the "offended" bandwagon

I really never thought I'd see this day. I was a practising Pagan¹ for a good number of years and though that's no longer the case I did meet, chat and occasionally sleep with some very intelligent and level headed people who were happy to get up at three in the morning to watch the sun come up in a field.

So as every other fuckwit with a holy book and an inferiority complex leapt on the "This is an offence to my religion, stop what you're doing at once" bandwagon the Muslims started rolling along I at least thought that the folks in the Pagan community would remain aloof from all this and get on with the serious business of casting the quarters, doing handfastings for people and their pets, and getting bladdered in the service of the Goddess.

But no, the Pagans have turned into yet another bunch of whiny, "offended" tosspots and have protested that a couple of F-list celebrities with all the talent, presence and loveability of a dickcheese sandwich have arsed around on a "sacred pagan site", namely the Long Man of Wilmington.

I'm not surprised to see Arthur Pendragon involved in this as he's a complete self-publicity whore and loves nothing better than getting his sword out when there's a journalist in the vicinity (I think he's making up for having a small dick or something). Once I was on the same bill as him, both of us giving a talk at, of all things, a Pagan/Christian interfaith gathering and all he did was whitter on about his little "warband" of warrior druids and bored everyone to sleep. I did meet his warband a little later, all four of them, and all they seemed up to fighting was their way to the bar for more ale.

The best bit though is this

We, the Pagans, would not in our wildest dreams consider putting female breasts and clothing on effigies of any of the Holy Prophets, be it Jesus Christ, Buddha or any other revered figure of another faith.

These clueless wastes of DNA haven't even got the wits to work out that the Wilmington figure is only about 300 years old and therefore about as sacred as the short-term carpark at Heathrow Terminal Three. Last I looked Pagans didn't have any set representations of the male divine either so are we going to get Arthur and his jolly boys wandering over and getting rat-arsed every time someone takes a pot-shot at a stag or cuts a tree down? Didn't see you guys getting all pissy when those pro-hunt protesters defaced the White Horse of Uffington either so I can only assume that you're just doing this because the telly people might turn up.

Hell's teeth if I hadn't left paganism by now this would be making me pack my chalice and athame and looking for the next bus out of town.

I notice that Leah's folk don't do this... but I reckon they are keeping their powder dry for the first time that some comedian makes a knob gag about an icon.







¹ I had to practice very hard at it as a little voice kept saying "You know, this is just as much horseshit as all the other religions" and in the end I just went "Ah, fuck it, you're right" and cracked open a beer.

Oining the Xtians

Keen students of this blog may remember a while back I had a somewhat forthright exchange of views with a Christian on whose website I left a comment to the fact that wanting cancer so you can glorify God through your pain was not so much warped and curved through l-space on four or five higher dimensions.

Well it's turned out that our little discourse generated a blog post of its own which you can read over here (Hey she gave me a link, only fair I return the compliment) on the subject of swearing.

Apparently I'm possessed by demons, which would explain a few things.

I did leave a comment mentioning how I found it amusing that Xtians do seem to have this rather convenient excuse of blaming anything bad they do on demons, satan or whatever; you'll notice its never the fact that they might just, well, not be nice people.

She's turned comment moderation on though so I doubt it'll ever see the light of day.

UPDATE: Well credit where it's due, the comment went up. We're chatting about horses now. Maybe I can introduce her to Epona.

Take the Stanstead Express, when your life is a mess

Well that was my week off done with. Dog didn't make it (boo!), friend came over (yay!) and I totally failed to do even a half of the things I had planned which is about normal for me taking time off.

Anyway today finds me on the lovely Stansted Express as I dropped my friend off at the airport this morning at very early o'clock and rather than drive the rest of the way in I took the fast train. All fine in the morning as it was me and some half asleep commuters we picked up at Bishop's Stortford but this evening's train is packed with people you expect to be going to an airport served by Ryanair, EasyJet and a host of other budget carriers. Actually kind of reminds me of my student days getting the boat train out to Harwich for the ferry (you never see student inter-railers on that boat any more, guess everyone goes by plane now).

However this would not be a Grumpy Dragon blog post without a nark so here it comes.

Lots of plod and pretend plod milling around on the platform for the train and stopping people. Fair enough, the ragheads are trying to kill us all again so we have a heightened sense of security.

However what do we know. We know that all the current bunch of people were middle eastern followers of the "Religion of Peace"; of this much we are certain.

So can you explain to me why the four people who were being stopped, searched and of course filling in the racial profiling form were:

* A white man in his 50's in a business suit.
* A young black woman with a baby in a pram
* A Caucasian student, eastern European by his accent
* A bag of salt and vinegar crisps.

OK so maybe not the last one, but certainly nobody who looked, you know, a bit, well, muslim.

Here's a tip. If you are ever stopped and they ask you what your race is, tell them to put "other". It fucks up their "see, see, we don't do racial profiling, honest" figures and if everyone stopped complying with this piece of NuLabour shite we might be able to free the plod up to stop and search those who, on the balance of the evidence, would be more likely to be wandering around carrying explosives and looking for a few dhimmis to personally introduce to Allah.