Want Product! Sell Me Product!

So I nip into WH Smiths to pick up my copy of "Leather Joy-Boys and Donkey Bondage Monthly" (this month they have an article entitled - "Never mind about the casino thing Blackpool, our readers have voted your beach donkies the 7th sexiest in the UK!")

I go up to pay, because I am an honest dragon.

Till Numpty: "You get a half price bar of chocolate with a magazine sir."

Dragon: "I don't want any chocolate thanks, I don't eat it, it sticks to my fangs"

Till Numpty: "If you buy a copy of the Independent you get a free bottle of water"

Dragon: "I'm not thirsty and anyway I read the Indy online edition at lunchtime"

Till Numpty: "Well how about 27% off a Terry's Chocolate Orange when you take out a subscription to 'What Ocelot'?

Dragon: "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SELL ME MY MAGAZINE YOU STUPID FUCKING FUCK!"

And people wonder why online shopping is so popular.