The Silver Screen

I'm staying with friends in The Netherlands at the moment and last night we all trundled off to the movies. Now I haven't been to see a film at the cinema (or "bioscoop" as they call them here) for, well, ages. I think the last time was when the first Lord of The Rings film came out.

Now people do tell me that the "experience" is what the cinema is all about, the big screen, the sound system and the guy behind you eating a packet of crisps loudly during the quiet bits.

Well OK but I have a nice sound system at home, regrettably when it gets above "15" on the volume control the dogs start getting upset and howling and OK I can't quite do the several metres wide screen thing but then again I can see things quite adequately on my flat screen telly and probably in just as good resolution now I've got blu-ray. The seat was comfy sure enough and there was a shop where you could get popcorn (I hate popcorn) in the intermission.

So I can kind of see why people watch their movies at home these days. Mainly because I can think the good people of Hoogezand would have been a bit put out if I'd sat there sprawled out over three seats and paused the movie to go to the bog.

Oh and the film was Harry Potter 7(a). Not at all bad to be honest, just turn the brain off.

Film review - Eragon

Finally got the chance to watch Eragon over the new year weekend - at home of course, there is no way I was about to spend any of a bank holiday weekend in a cinema full of snotty children (who should all be fed to pit bull terriers anyway - I recon they should have given the dog a medal).

Anyway, Eragon. Or "Star Wars with Dragons" as they might have called it. To be honest there were so many plot and idea ripoffs that I'm surprised there isn't a queue of lawyers outside every picture house in the land. Dragons die when their riders do... paging Mrs McCaffrey, to say the word/true name is to control the thing (Le Guin's "Earthsea", Edding's "Belgariad"). The princess is in trouble... OK so Jeremy Irons didn't quite say "If you go now, help them you could, but you will betry all that they have fought and suffered for" but he might as well have done - I was surprised Eragon didn't ask Safira to "fire up the converters" - and oh look he's just done an Obi-Wan death scene. We even had a "I'm stuck on this rock at my uncle's farm looking into the sunset" moment earlier. Sure I know that this sort of plot is the monomyth of the hero but at least try to be a bit original. If it turns out that the nasty evil king is Eragon's dad then I'm sorry I will have to breathe on someone.

And my, isn't it convenient that dragons grow up so quickly - dead handy plot device that was. And speaking of dragons isn't Safira a bit too, well, "fluffy" for a dragon? (Checks scales, claws, teeth, horns) Yep, far too fluffy, and were those feathers on the end of your wings? And if you keep doing those 5000 feet per minute vertical takeoffs from standing you're going to give young Eragon spinal compression.

Still, it was a bit of fun for 90 minutes, the CGI battle sequences were good and all the serious actors playing the baddies were deliciously over the top and even Jeremy redeemed himself in the Obi-Wan/Yoda role after his pitiful outing in the truly naff "Dungeons and Dragons" movie.

Turn your brain off, play spot the borrowed plot and go and see Eragon... available from all good bittorrent sites now.

Firey Dragon Rating - toasty: