Run Away! Run Away!

SAVANNAH, GA (WTOC) - Some church members were able to make contact with their loved ones that are currently in Haiti.

At the Grace Church of the Islands church members were able see and talk to missionaries from their church using Skype. The group seemed upbeat given the circumstances, and none of them were injured during the quake. For parents being able to see their children during this troubling time is giving them new reason to hope.

"I knew he was fine because I had spoken to him by satellite phone last night, and I knew Athat the Lord was going to provide. He was faithful and provided, but it's still great to see him on the camera," said Mary Ellen Calderon, who has a son in Haiti right now.

Because of the limited access to Haiti, the missionaries are still unable to fly home. The church is trying to make arrangements, but it could still be days before they're able to leave the island.

Hang on just a minute, aren't you good Xtian folk supposed to be staying behind and helping out instead of scuttling back home?

I guess what with the locals rather preoccupied with digging their relatives out of the rubble, trying to find a not too badly contaminated puddle to drink from and trying to dodge the bullets that will soon start flying as what little civilisation their country had unravels into barbarism they would not really have the time or be that receptive to your happy clappy come Jesus wants you for a sunbeam message?

Hopefully they will catch you and use you for food before the church can get the Learjet into Port Au Prince internatonal to fly your flabby white asses out of there.

Port Au Wobble

Oh dear, that's going to take a bit of mending.



Hey you are the guys that created zombies, right? Well you've got bags of raw material to work with now so just get the magic powders out, see if you can find a chicken that hasn't been flattened by a house to sacrifice and off you jolly well go.

Well I guess Voodoo makes about as much sense as Christianity in Port Au Prince right now. The Christians tell us that God is omniscient (all knowing), omnipotent (all powerful) and, as I can't remember the Latin for "benevolent", hes "omnibenevolent" as well - they keep telling us that God loves everyone, personally and without reservation.

So how come Haiti is a big pile of rubble in the Carribean right now? How come there's thousands dead, hundreds of thousands injured, people slowly dying trapped under a hundred tons of masonry?

If we take this loving god who is willing to prevent evil but does not, then he is impotent. If willing and able but unaware, he is ignorant. If able and aware but not willing, he is malevolent. ¹ What he can't be is the the three things Christians claim for him otherwise Haiti would still be standing, it would not have the largest slum in the Northern Hemisphere and I would have a pink unicorn giving me a blow job as I write this.

Its said that you can't prove God does not exist.

I think I just did.




¹ OK so I paraphrased Epicurius - sue me.