Maybe not the right man

Hmmm... not sure what to think about "The Bishop" after all since I watched the news last night. I'm no sociologist (Mrs Dragon is - she has a degree in social policy and everything) but he came across as just a bit of a lonely saddo with a need to feel useful. Obviously I'm not privy to what Plod know, for all I know his lappy was stuffed to the gills with slasher porn and unposted blog entries saying "Thursday: killed another prostitute this evening..." but he just didn't come across as, well, dangerous...

... Which, given my skill and judgement where the human race is concerned, probably means he's a Harold Shipman class serial killer.


Incidentally it was interesting to watch the different styles of coverage on BBC 24 and Sky News - Shy was very much "look at us we got an exclusive interview with the man who interviewed his cat" whereas the Beeb were much more introspective and thoughtful with an interesting discussion on how the media was covering the whole thing and a much less "tabloid" approach. I know it's ever so fashionable for people on the right to knock Auntie but give me the Beeb over commercial news any day (what's the betting the Tescos have done some subtle leaning on Sky and ITV to stop doing pieces to camera in front of the branch where our alledged serial killer works)

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, put the dinosaur out for the night,
Prevent Scooby Doo from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the jetcars and with jangly cartoon music
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Farewell Joe.

Must be the right man

The police are holding someone in custody on suspicion of involvement in the murder of a number of women in the Ipswitch area... or as the "London Lite" puts it "Strangler cops hold man called The Bishop".

Must have got the right man, after all all serial killers have some cool nickname, Ripper (Jack the ~, Yorkshire ~), Son of Sam, Black Panther, and so on. Makes me wonder why Plod just didn't round up everyone in Ipswitch and Lowestoft with a nickname.

Roooooooxanne...

Being an resident of East Anglia the fact that there is a serial killer doing the rounds just down the road from me is of course a little disturbing, even though his preferred target group does not so far seem to include small green fire breathing dragons (always assuming of course that there are any small green fire breathing dragons on the game in Ipswitch¹).

What I find puzzling is that we seem to have got a new phrase: "Sex Worker". What the hell is a "Sex Worker" when she (or he I assume) is at home; anything like a social worker but with extra special services? What, pray tell, is wrong with the good old English word "Prostitute"? Everyone knows what it means, it isn't gender specific and I think it sounds a good deal less clumsy.

What I find tragic is that if this government was a bit less, you know, run by a religious mafia and had the bollocks to stand up to the tabloid press then they may have introduced managed areas and legal, properly regulated brothels by now and five women (and counting) would probably be alive right now. But hey, after Iraq whats a few more dead bodies, eh Tone?

My opinion is that if people want to buy and sell sexual favours then that's just fine and dandy by me and it is no business of government to say that they can't; indeed if government had any common sense they should put it on a proper business footing with minimal, sensible regulation to protect consumers and workers from undue exploitation and risk and then tax it like any other profit-making enterprise. Now I know that, as Deborah Orr pointed out in her article in today's Independent, the management of any enterprise would not want to take on a heroin addict as an employee but at least we could have managed zones, as they tried in Liverpool a while back, where the ladies of negotiable virtue could work in some sort of safety and at least the social workers and drug outreach programmes could find them (and yes whereas I might be an unreconsitituted libertarian I do think people who have fucked up their life on drugs through bad choices should at least be offered some sort of help, if only because it's cheaper to the taxpayer in the long run).

Anyway I hope the back-to-basic moralists and fundy Xtians are sleeping well tonight... who am I kidding, course they are. They probably think it's God's punishment. Gits.




¹Bet they would clean up if there were - seem to be plenty of people interested in sleeping with dragons if what I see in the more exotic corners of the net is anything to go by.

The Persians have lost the plot

"Iran is your home and is the home of all freedom seekers of the world. Here you can express your views and exchange opinions in a friendly, brotherly and free atmosphere," he said.

Well that's very nice of you Mr Imadinnerjacket. Tell you what, I'd like to book the conference hall once you've finished your neo-nazi love in to hold a seminar on "Islam - Religion of Violence or What?" with a few break-out sessions debating the vital issues of our time like "The Prophet Mohammed - Did he really sleep with goats?".

As I can express my views so freely in your country I take it that you don't have any problem with this.

Yeah, thought so. Sooner we turn the desert to glass the better.

That said I do think holocaust denial laws are pretty stupid. I'd much rather asshats like David Irving be allowed to spout their gibberish because (a) in a free country you should be free to say what you like, no matter how much of a wanker it makes you look and (b) it's so much fun to watch proper historians shooting them down in flames

(By the way do take time to have a look at David Icke's website above as it is an absolute hoot! However he is right in that Dragons do rule the world - bow down and worship me!)

Cluck

After yet another very wobbly trip your dragon pal is now back in Tory Blur's Wonderland.

Just the one thought from things Netherlandish... in Dutch the name of the "BNP Lite" party "UKIP" translates as "You Chicken".

New Labour of course translates into every language as "Wankers"

Dragons on a Boat

Well, dragon at least and the boat is that fine mistress of the seas the Stena Holladica. Yep Dracunculus os off to The Netherlands for the weekend to visit some of his friends and indulge in the local beverage (which we only let you haff when it is ready).

Mind you I picked a choice weekend to go. Here is the shipping forecast:

THAMES DOVER WIGHT PORTLAND SOUTHWESTERLY 6 TO GALE 8 DECREASING 5 FOR A TIME, THEN BECOMING CYCLONIC SEVERE GALE 9 OR STORM 10, LATER BECOMING NORTHWESTERLY 4 OR 5. MODERATE OR ROUGH, OCCASIONALLY VERY ROUGH IN PORTLAND. RAIN OR SHOWERS. MODERATE OR GOOD

So the crew have been putting the multilingual sickbags out. Rather charmingly they have the nice message "Do you want..." on the front. "No, what I want is to finally stop puking my guts up and then I wish to curl up and die."




I have decided to at least have something to eat (see below), oh and 0.3mg of Hyoscine Hydrobromide for good measure (which probably means I'll be snoring in 20 minutes or so).

Stay tuned for more grumblings from the land of marijuana and horseporn where no-one wears a veil - assuming we don't sink.

fwkin hull

That Channel 4 christmas speech in full

fnwf sfnl flwls mnur Jihad flwn shmoork

Infidel flub gurbl fln flm durfn smur snurt fluuurk

snchur flwl flub gurs flurbl snurt Murr Chifmws Dhimmis

Take off the fucking veil you stupid bint we can't make out a fucking thing you're saying.

Pretentious media fuckwits having a wank... not big, not clever.

Plane Stupid

Jesus wept... what is wrong with these people!

The captain identified a braking problem which was at first thought not to be important. Engineers were called but the passengers were allowed to advance through to the boarding gate. Mr Phillips said the engineers then found that the fault was more serious than first thought and the flight had to be cancelled...

..."At this point a small number of passengers - three or four - became extremely aggressive with airport staff and airline personnel.

Sure, we'll just take off with a plane we are not sure will be able to brake when it lands on Rovaniemi's single 3000m runway (which, given they are at 66 degrees north and it's winter might just be a bit, you know, slippy) and just trust that Rudolf the Fecking Red Nosed Reindeer will hang onto the tail and fly backwards to help keep down the landing roll distance. Alternatively we just go sliding of the end right through Santas bleedin' workshop whilst the engines ingest a few elves - that'll make Duwaine and Chaveera's Christmas complete won't it.

Look as well as being a little green dragon I'm also a qualified pilot (probably one of the few dragons around who actually does have a licence to flap his wings!) and I can tell you for nothing that a set of fully functioning brakes is most definitely on the Minimum Equipment List¹. Aside from keeping you on the runway when you land you do rather need them to steer the plane and also come to a nice gentle halt at the gate - piling the nose of your plane into the departures lounge like in Airplane is generally regarded as bad form.

Yes it's sad that Dweezul and Charlene didn't get to paw Santa's beard with their Sunny Delight covered hands whilst demanding mobile phones, plasma screen tellys and XBox 360s but planes "go tech" sometimes and it's annoying. The chap in the epaulettes and silly hat has thousands of hours experience in making the plane go up and down and he says it's not going you should really trust him and take it up, ideally in a civilised manner, with the tour company. However throwing your toys out of the pram and behaving worse than your offspring is kind of what you would expect these days.

Hopefully they ban this kind of pond scum from ever setting foot on an aircraft again.

Yeah... fat chance.


¹The MEL is a list of things your plane must have before you start, surprisingly functioning fuel guages aren't on it - you're supposed to know you've enough fuel to get there.

A lot of questions asked during a fire

I don't suppose we could have one of these could we Tony?

Nah, didn't think so. Mainly becuase one sniff of something like this would have the human rights lawyers swarming all over it like flies round fresh cowpoo bringing suits for "my client who can't speak English was traumatised and humiliated by this test which was in English"... tough, want to live here learn to speak the language properly, if I wanted to hear poorly articulated badly pronounced english I would ring up my bank's call centre. Also this would imply we want people coming here¹ to actually understand and participate in democracy and civil values when of course all governments actually want herds of complant sheeple who will obediently trot out every four years to vote for whoever scared them the most and just shut up and consume for the remainder of the time.

Mind you I think I would struggle to do the sample questions in the test...

Why does the United States have three branches of government?

So someone is around to spoonfeed Dubya if one branch is on holiday and the other is off sick.

Name two rights that are only for US citizens

The right to bear arms and the right to arm bears

Name two cabinet-level positions

Up on the wall or at floor level with a worksurface on top

Name one important idea found in the Declaration of Independence

Great omlettes are made with two eggs, not three.

What does the Constitution do

Given the rate at which the current US administration is trying to tear down every freedom in it I would suggest that it's currently propping up a wobbly table in the Oval Office.

Have a look at this interesting take on it by a bunch of nice boys from the Windy City


¹Which I'm broadly in favour of so long as you're coming to work although I would prefer it if the current malignant administration would do something to drag the workshy cnuts away from "Trisha" and into gainful employment first.