Well bugger me Darling!

Well much to my surprise I tapped in my details into the BBC's "How much has that gurning fuckwad Darling screwed you out of" calculator this morning and bugger me with a horse dildo if I'm not actually up on the deal by about 250 quid!

Of course it helps if you take your cunningly purchased just below the fuck off tax band 4x4 to France twice a year and bring it back, axles groaning, full of booze so that nice Mr Sarkozi gets the tax revenues and not Gordo's sock puppet.

However you dour presbytarian fuck, doon't for a second think I'm ever going to vote any way but "anyone but you" come election time.